VISIT 2 • How to Embrace Krishna, When I Have Merged with Him…?

Chapter from the book by Tatyana M. “On the Other Side of the Material World” (An Essay of the Experience Which I Really Had).


We moved back to the train, but decided, on the way there, to visit another place of power of Krishna, where He was felt a little differently compared to His other working sites.

After reaching our destination, we took off our backpacks, ate, and rested. After basking long in the sunlight, even Katya fell asleep.

Then Vladimir proposed for us to note, each for ourselves, — the difference in how Krishna manifests Himself in His various places of power:

“Krishna manifests Himself in different ways. For example, He may be high above the Earth’s surface, and can be felt here around the body of each of us — as the Divine Fire. Or — in other His places — He teaches the power aspect of consciousness.*

Here, Krishna is felt high above the pine trees for kilometers. Vladimir, in jest, asked me to be just as big as He is. But he, looking at the hard-questioning expression on my face, just laughed.

“Let us merge with Krishna in His Mahadouble — and ask ourselves: ‘Who am I? Where am I?’…

“And let us try to understand: how can I embrace and love Krishna, if I am now Krishna?…”

… I thought that once I put this question to myself. I then asked: how do I embrace God, if He is All! Vladimir then, looking at me with clairvoyance, only smiled enjoyingly and encouragingly. I understood his thinking: wait a bit, soon all will become clear!

Alright. But what really caused frustration and impatience in me, was the inability to see and hear God. The Face of Krishna is like Jesus, Vladimir wrote*… Well, but how do I actually see Him?

Vladimir showed me the center of Krishna’s Mahadouble. I carefully went to Him, walked to and fro, trying to hear… well, at least something!

Then the thought came: maybe to hear something, we should at least ask for something?

I began to think: what to ask. But I “dropped out” of meditation because of this.

Finally, I began to hear separate words guiding my efforts… then deeper, then up…

I rushed to Anna and Larisa. They confirmed that this was right to begin with: you hear only a few words. But I would like to have whole sentences, not only a few words! I thought that this could be similar to how children first learn how to read: first — syllables, then — words, and then — phrases. And I am learning to hear by these steps.

But soon I got tired and began to see strange pictures and images. I classified them as fruits of my imagination. I realized that it was time to finish and went to our backpacks.

But suddenly I became aware that something changed in me: I was… — almost flying! Fatigue — disappeared! The body — quite easy, as if the attraction of the Earth reduced! I no longer felt any pain in my muscles and joints after the long march. And I almost did not feel the body! It was — almost dissolved into space!

It was — so cool!

And I enthusiastically merged with Krishna…

* * *

I sat on a stump and started to write down the experienced sensations. But suddenly there came an unbearable desire — to lie down and sleep!… And I did just that.

… Still not understanding where I am, through the sweet slumber I suddenly heard the voice of Vladimir. I “pricked up” one ear, but was too lazy to open my eyes. Vladimir asked my opinion: when should we intend to return to the city? Or maybe I wanted to stay here with Krishna for the night?…

I opened one eye. Then I thought: “That is — how? And what must be done for this?”. I closed the eye. I was too lazy to think: it was just so good to be with Krishna!

But for once, after all, I had to “control myself”… I stood up. Even a “blissful cat” would envy me!

I turned around. Kate was sweetly sleeping… Excellent! So I can enjoy more! And I flopped back into Krishna…

I guessed at least an hour had passed, and Vladimir had already decided to raise us to be in time for the last train.

… In this state of bliss I got home.

Every one of us had the same state.

… At home I was told that tomorrow we were going to visit Babaji.

That night He was in my dreams…

>>>

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