VISIT 3 • Visit of Vladimir in My Home

My Errors and the Bitterness
of Goodbyes

Vladimir and I decided that he would come up to me to help in finding new places of power around my home.

And now — he came.

I lived alone in a one-room flat consisting of a fairly large room with an open plan kitchen.

I had only one place to sleep — a folding divan. Therefore, for the arrival of Vladimir I made the second bed for myself, on the floor on a porolon bed mat.

But Vladimir, looking around, had chosen for himself a place on the floor:

“Why did I break your lifestyle?”

… Then he began to look at everything else in my house. He drew attention to the abundance of indoor plants in pots. They were about twenty. They occupied the whole window-sill, and a corner of the room near the window — on special welded metal racks.

“Why do you want them so much? They seem to have taken in your life — on the importance — the same place, which formerly belonged to cats!

“As a result, because there was no cleansing of your attention from the superfluous, not required — in accordance with the principle of monastic aparigraha. There was only the change of one unnecessary — to another unnecessary!

“It turns out that you… just can not live without them — attractive for your indriyas — objects of attention! But how much we talked about this! How much you could read about this in our books!

“It is one of the main rules of monastic life — to eliminate all of it that draws attention away from God, striving to Him, and service Him!”

… I tried to argue sluggishly:

“But they are — my friends, I take care of them…”

“Well, let us look at those friends of yours more specifically.

“This great plant — yes, it is your friend. He has — great energy, corresponding to a pure and strong human anahata!

“This little plant of the same species — it is, too, a friend, but it is too little to give a benefit.

“These all — they are bioenergetically neutral, neither friends nor enemies. They only take place and also — your time and attention. Why not give them to someone? Or at least put them on the window sill on the first floor on the stairs and write down a note: “Who wants — take!”

“Now look at this plant — with stiff leaves, tune in to its power. It is intensively gray! Its bioenergetic field is hostile towards you! It obviously hurts you!

“And, in general, is not it better to put in the same pots on the windowsill — something edible? Celery, lovage, parsley, and so on…

“… So, let us look at the walls.

“Here are the photos from our landscapes — beautiful! They make us to feel the subtling beauty of nature! Portraits of Jesus, Sathya Sai Baba, Babaji — they are as the windows into those Divine Souls!

“But here — what it is a daub?” — Vladimir pointed out at the real daub, hung in wooden frames, — extensive rough black-green random strokes of the paint-brushes. Apparently, this was the first attempts to draw of someone’s child at the age of one or two years. I did not know their origin, they came to me with this flat.

“Take a look at this situation adequately: they are — energetically — neither helpful nor too harmful. But they — from time to time — attract your attention, distracting you from the really useful for you objects: your Divine Teachers and those people whom you have to help!

“Let me touch — one more time — the depths of the methodology of spiritual development. Do you remember? — we were talking about the vectors of the scale of multi-dimensionality? We concerned then only one type of such vectors. But, in fact, they can be more. Such vectors can illustrate, to make vivid for ourselves — a sequence of transitions between two opposite extremes. Every such vector is as a trajectory aligning a way for transmutation for every one of us.

“The first and most important vector may be built between the hell — and the ultimate refinements of the Primordial Consciousness.

“The second — between matter — and its Creator.


— between the darkness of ignorance — and the knowledge of the most important in life,

— between the stupid egocentrism — and the wise self-sacrificial love,

— between guna tamas — and sattva, and even higher states of the Holy Spirit and the Creator,

— between emotional attunement with people-enemies — or with the endless Love of God,

— between enslavement by diseases — and total purity of body and soul, and even the attainment of its immortality.

“And yet — between concrete localized objects of the world of matter — and the infinity and eternity of the Creator!

“In our efforts to cognize the Creator, it is significant for us to train ourselves to attune with not small, but with more and more large scale objects. Remember, for example, how you yourself grew: we, first, started to fill the ‘cocoons’ of trees, then — the expanse over the sea, even further — in the huge Consciousness of the Holy Spirits and the eon of protoprakriti. The mechanism of ‘total reciprocity’ actually allowed dissolving with the spiritual heart in these Manifestations of the Absolute… This gradually led to the possibility of Mergence and the subsequent Fusing with the United Us of the Primordial Consciousness…

“But you… in your home… it turns out, are actively opposing it, restoring and returning again to a ‘mergence’ with the consciousness with the material trifles…

“… And this photo of a sleeping male cat!… Yes, he shows a pretty unusual pose! But he now, that is, at the time when he was photographed, sees a very bad dream! He has been imprinted with a black head inside! And is it not because of this you are always too with dirty energy in your head chakras? You admire him and attune with his state… Every time when we meet, I have to cleanse your head! And when we are apart a long time — it is chronically sick!”

… I was ashamed… After all, why did I not guess?! Again, I made sure that Vladimir was always right in dealing with my health problems…

“Why do you have,” — Vladimir continued to smash my ‘life foundations’, — “on a computer keyboard, on a black background, — dark-red letters? Is it good for your vision to strain it so much when you type something?

“And why does the fluorescent lighting shine right into your eyes from the distance of half a meter?! So that is why we have no success in the improvement of your vision: because you yourself maim it!”

… But, it should be noted, that Vladimir said all this in his usual soft and calm tone… While someone else would shout angrily…

… And then… I had done so, for that I will always be ashamed…

The fact is that I had the living stereotype which was fixed yet from childhood — to get up in the morning so as to ‘run’ to rinse under the shower, drink a cup of coffee — and rush to work.

But Vladimir did a diametrically opposite way: he got up early, had breakfast to stock up with energy and — if there was no other urgent deeds, meditating.

The time difference between our awakenings was several hours.

At last I had understood what he spoke about when he wrote that for each monk it would be good to have an individual cell…

Realized that it is impossible to alter me quickly in what concerns the usefulness of early rising, he, at first, — for hours — lay on his mat in the morning, trying not to break my sleep. In the following days he was trying to quietly get up — and meditate while sitting on a chair in the dark… While it was clear that the effectiveness of this work of his was such a sad low.

I understood that he is suffering from this situation. Before he had told, and not once, that every hour given to us by God for our lives on the Earth — it is the His gift, and it shall be filled to the maximum with the useful work!

But I did not consider it necessary to change right now: because it was so nice to have at least a little nap in the morning!

And one day I “broke down” and “fell” emotionally when I was awakened inadvertently by Vladimir. My irritation was very stormy and protracted. Although I did not speak vocally on this subject a single word…

Vladimir, as it turned out, too, although he felt that my emotional state, did not tell me during that day anything about this. He was expecting the moment when I could hear him in a balanced state.

Only the next day he started talking about this:

“We need to discuss very seriously your successes and shortcomings in our work. And — to plan for the future.”

He, first, listed — point by point — the successes.

But then, carefully choosing the words to me did not hurt too, — he began talking about my yesterday’s state:

“But… see: yesterday you, it can be said, almost negated all your achievements…

“What is the psychical self-regulation? Yes, this is — the ability to easily arbitrarily change one’s own emotional state — the state of the consciousness. You have mastered this.

“But what is all this necessary for? For, above all, to destroy in oneself even the very ability to express any coarseness, to become strong and stable in the maximum subtlety — and become the Perfect Soul, worthy to join with the Primordial Consciousness.

“You could argue that, well, but I entered into such a state not for long, just a couple of hours…

“Yes, such a justification would be acceptable if you were — energetically — an ordinary person. But you have the strength of Nanak! Plus what has already been accumulated in this lifetime!

“Indeed, the greater power of the consciousness — the more careful one must be in dealing with this it.

“Little soul could bring harm by its similar state — only to a few beings who are unlucky to be nearby.

“But from the negative states of large souls — the damage can be enormous!

“Large subtled souls — in fact, not only in fairy tales and legends — ennoble the space around their bodies — for miles, hundreds of miles and to even much larger amounts of space. And those of embodied people who are willing to approach the Divinity can do that, in particular, through attunement with these souls.

“But you… — I watched you from a distance during the hours of your hellish state. You had turned into a kind of… black tumor within the Light of the Holy Spirits!

“And with that state of yours, you gave me such a kick that I am still… I feel like flying!… Only my body is delayed in your house!… I now have to take it too.

“So I am to leave you and with the body.

“In situations like this, God uses such formula in farewell to the outgoing concrete flow of the spiritual work: ‘Now you have to start all over again…’.

“You now once again have complete freedom to choose your path through life. You are free to make any choice — as, indeed, ever. But — remembering about the ‘law of karma’.

“If you want to go by the same way that was with us — start with a thorough understanding and application to yourself of the first two stages of Patanjali’s scheme, which was described, in particular, in our book ‘Ecopsychology’.

“I emphasize: even the very first of those steps are still not mastered by you…”

“Yes, I agree… Everything was so fast…”

“Yes. That was just the few years that you had to read in our books and apply to yourself for changing yourself in accordance to those many recommendations of God!” — Vladimir said with soft sarcasm, and sadly.

… After a pause he went on, bringing an optimistic emotional jet:

“But in the last few months of our work together, you have got such a great experience, and learned so much about God and about people and about yourself!

“Although, as you see yourself, some of the problems are still not resolved.

“Now you have a very favorable situation: using all the cognized, to review and to change yourself and all your life again from the very beginning.

“You might not only hear about the ‘human form’, but really revise all the components of your life — and deliver of all tamasic that yet exist in you.

“And do not worry about, what happened with you yesterday, too much: it happens with many of those who then successfully continue their spiritual growth.

“It turned out, that it is not easy — not only to accept the correctness of the principles of life offered to us by God, but also apply them precisely to myself.

“Incidentally, one of these rules is: ‘Every leaving the state of love leads to the accumulation of bad karma’. That is what I said in the book ‘How God Can Be Cognized. Autobiography of a Scientist Who Studied God’.

“I believe that you will manage your difficulties well! You have got such a rich experience, including the experience of these last days!

“I wish you every success, happiness and completeness in both: the ‘earthly’, and spiritual directions of your life!”

… Then Vladimir spoke with me a few hours, reminding me, including about what principles he and his closest companions helped me.

“Please note: the mass of ignorant people claim themselves to be ‘enlightened gurus’ — and are selling their nonsense, or even fragrant lie!

“But we were presenting to you.

“May there be a cash settlement in the relationships based on a true spiritual love?

“See: the true love — it is the gifting: gifting of mine, gifting of myself!

“When the souls, just so loving each other become connected so — then there is the harmony between them, and then — the mergence.

“People, who have learned this in love for each other, then easily merge in love with God!

“In the future, you will be able, if you accept this principle as your own, to do the same.

“… At present, you, with your virtues, stretched between the inertia of the guna tamas — and that which far exceeds the guna sattva. But to live in this state a long time — it is impossible!

“You now need to stop, relax, look around — and make a choice on: ‘What I want?’, ‘How do I wish to live further?’, ‘Who I want to become?’. You have every right to that choice.

“If you want to grow further — all our publications can help you, including the collection of poems, meditations, presented by our Teachers. Especially I would like to emphasize the importance of working with the councils-commandments of our Teachers, which are collected in our books. Personally, I — in previous years — was reading them many times, imprinting them into the soul. This is an extremely important technique of the spiritual work on the transformation ourselves — transformation, above all, ethically!

“Another book, I can recommend, it is of Baird Thomas Spalding — ‘Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East’. It was published in the first half of last century in the United States. It is the story of an expedition to several countries in that part of our planet. During this journey, lasting several years, the members of the expedition met and talked for a long time with many spiritual Masters of the Divine level of the development. Among Them was Jesus, recreating for such meetings His body. All conversations with Jesus and other Divine Teachers were taken down in shorthand, and then published by the author in several volumes.

“The expedition members were the direct eyewitnesses of very many wonders, such as dematerialization and materialization of bodies, the creation of any amount of material food, and more.

“I myself have met with this book recently: I have been written to about it by our readers from the U.S.A.

“What is particularly valuable to us in this book? It contains, in particular, the ‘instructions’ on what to do when the entering the Abode of the Primordial Consciousness is already mastered.

“You may ask: is not this book the complete manual on the methodology of spiritual development?

“Unfortunately — no. The problem here is that the book describes just the further steps of the Path only for those spiritual seekers who have turned themselves into the developed spiritual hearts and have cognized enough carefully, by their own practical experience, the realities of the structure of the multidimensional Absolute — about at our level.

“Yes, in the sermons of the Masters given in the book, always sounds the call to develop the spiritual hearts and strive to live in a state of love.

“But how many people around us now actually understand what is this — the spiritual heart? For most of people the spiritual heart — it is only empty, though a beautiful word, a symbol of life ‘in the free flow of my own feelings and emotions’!

“And concerning the book we discuss, it turned out that the methodological component of it is similar to a ladder, having only its top. And how to get there — this is not explained.

“This theme is developed in detail just in our School. And we have brought you to the higher steps of this ‘ladder’.

“… Let me to dispel your possible enough appropriate doubts about the adequacy of the recommended in this book meditative statement ‘I am!’. This statement, by the way, is also characteristic of the occult literature published in the late nineteenth and the beginning of the twentieth centuries.

“What does it mean ‘I am!’? In the proper sense — this is the appeal to just feeling myself being merged with the Creator, that is, in a state of Advaita — non-duality with the Creator and the whole Absolute! Then — there is only One! It is only at this stage of perfecting, and only on it, — the meditation ‘I am!’ is appropriate!

“But how many schizophrenics, paranoiacs, aggressive primitives, and various other weak-minders — also wish to apply this principle to themselves! And they will — with its help —strengthen their pathology!

“… I also focus your attention on the repeated in the book claim that ‘everything is vibrations’. We must understand that this is just an example of using of an inadequate term in the case when in the lexicon of listeners there are no other appropriate words for understanding the intellectual material which still ‘transcends’ for them, which should only be fixed in memory — to be understood later. In fact, we must speak here not about real energetic ‘vibrations’ but about the types of energies existing in the various eons, and about the possibility of transmutation of those states — into the variations inherent to other eons.

“… Well, but in general, I highly recommend for all mentally capable people to get acquainted with this book! It is one of the most valuable books in the history of mankind! Every intellectually developed person will find it valuable to him/herself! And this, yes, let it inspire them to the spiritual achievements!”

… Again I ‘recovered my sight’, hearing of Vladimir… All of what he said, I have seen before, but… did not realize. I only was swimming in the river of his love…

Tears dripped from my eyes, flowed down on my cheeks…

… Saying goodbye, I could hardly keep from weeping, but said:

“Thank you and all of you! I am sorry!…”

“And you forgive me for I was not able to help you better…” — he answered.

Chapter from the book by Tatyana M. “On the Other Side of the Material World” (An Essay of the Experience Which I Really Had).


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