Wearing “Pink Glasses” and Meetings with Evil

Chapter from the book  “How God Can Be Cognized. Book 2. Autobiographies of the Disciples of God”  — Anna Zubkova.

Seeing only the good in everything, not noticing evil, living as if evil does not exist at all, — was the typical way of perceiving the world, for me, since childhood. On one hand, it was good — I loved everyone and everything, since when you look through pink glasses — it is very easy to love… But such a “defect of vision” could not suit God: it is impossible to eradicate evil, if you do not see it, it is also impossible to help others in this…

“We can tear out evil only if we recognize it. If we are ignorant of it, it will continue to grow its roots and grow itself in us… Ignorance of it is the mother of evil in us,” — Apostle Philip [5].

I was ready to deal and fight against vices, eradicate them from myself, — and it was quite easy for God to bring me up to this undestanding — but to see, that evil exists outside of us too, that misunderstanding of this and carelessness in this may lead to troubles — that was more difficult for me…

So God started to explain this to me.

For example, I thought that if I loved dogs and that I was not afraid of them — no dog would ever bite me! So, one day I was walking, overflowed with love and joy, — when a dog pounced on me and bit me. Its angry-drunken master was sitting on the steps of a store — and was enjoying the scene…

Understanding that there are people who are much worse than the most vicious dogs, who do not even need a reason to do evil…, — I was at that moment becoming aware of this…

Vladimir often showed us the reality of the present and past political situations of our country — and I tried to recognize that the lyrics: “My spacious homeland… where man can breathe so freely!” — do not reflect the real state of things. He also spoke to us about the “Christian” inquisition, spoke about the history of the perversions in other religious movements, about those which had I always thought only good,… but I only knew about the superficial layer… Every time, I felt like I was scalded with boiling water and that my skin was being removed from me — how easy it is to love a sweet fiction and continue to think: “How everything around is so wonderful!”…

God was strongly trying to explain this to me, so that I could “get it” without having to experience a big calamity on the material plane. He showed it to me up close, but from a side. He was trying to teach me caution — with the same tenderness as it was in my early youth …

… I remember, how once, during a tourist trip, I walked alone in the mountains. Just like with dogs, I was not afraid of people at all. And I enjoyed the spaciousness and beauty…, when a man approached me, who looked more like a terrible wild animal. He took my wrist with force and asked me to go with him. I was not very afraid and said that I did not want to go with him — and I thought that it was enough for him to let me go. But he did not let me go. He apparently had never seen such a “wild” specimen before also. He held my hand for the entire time on the way to the tourist base… he told me to never walk alone… only a bruise on my wrist remained after that incident…

Here and now — through pain, and tears — God offers me to see and realize the existence and manifestation of evil on Earth. In the same way, He sometimes painfully squeezes my hand as He leads me and shows me what I previously feared and did not want to see.

He offered to develop in me the wise caution of a spiritual warrior. He suggested to me to love not a fictitious “humanity” while living and serving Him in this world, but, to see the truth, to become a wise Love. He offered me to learn to help everyone in everything good — just as He helped me!

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