Memories of an Assyris’ Student

Chapter from the book  “How God Can Be Cognized. Book 2. Autobiographies of the Disciples of God”  — Anna Zubkova.

Once I was a student in a forest school of the Divine Teacher Assyris. It was my past incarnation. God revealed to me only small episodes of that life; He never satisfied my vain curiosity about it. Only on rare occasions, when He considered it useful, He slightly lifted the veil over the past.

Below are some of these memories that seem interesting:

… Summer morning… I am 3 or 4 years old. Naturally, I do not see myself, but I can feel myself. I look from within my small body…

The field is suffused with sunlight. Far in the distance there is a forest, which touches the boundless blue of the sky with the tops of trees.

Joy suddenly overfills me, and I run toward a man who looks to me very big. He radiates calm, power, love, and I perceive Him as very dear: perhaps he is my father or teacher… The state of boundless love and trust for him are as natural and total in me as the beauty and joy around: the field full of flowers, the forest, the shining of the sun…

I, overfilled with joyful love, run over to this man, and he takes my small body in his strong hands and throws me in the air… And… I feel myself as if without body… I find myself in the space of Light, all the rest disappears… There is only a boundless sea of Light… I swim in this Light…

Then the large and strong hands catch me — and everything comes back: the field, the forest, the flowers, the sky… I feel an overwhelming joy, shining joy! The joy of this game-caress overfills me!…

And the hands throws me in the air again… There is only Light…, and again…, and again…, and again…

* * *

Now, while I was writing this text, Assyris explained me that it was not a lesson in the forest school. It was our first meeting. This is how He found me.

* * *

… A bonfire, the starry night sky… The flame illuminates an elder in light robes, sitting in the state of deep calm and silence. I am a young boy of about 12 — 14 years old… I sit in the “student posture”… No, it is my body there sits. And I am an anthropomorphic consciousness, free from the body. I learn to dance — from the fire…

The most remarkable thing about this dance is that it lacks completely the human emotionality, artificialness. It was an attempt to reproduce the state of the fire as it is, with its inherent rhythm, the litheness of its tongues…

The feeling of time as if became slower; it seems that the elder looks at the bonfire for an infinitely long time…

And I have an absolutely natural understanding that I am not the body, that I am a soul-consciousness. There may be no body, while I am.

* * *

I have some memories about a celebration of spring’s coming. They bring intense feeling of joy. And several song lines…

In such a celebration all the villagers and the students of the forest school participate.

It begins with watching the rising of the sun.

… In the soft mist at dawn, men and women, the old and children stand united by anticipation of mystery. Calm and silence…

Slowly the sun rises over the horizon. People raise their hands and greet the Sun and the Spring! This is also the celebration of worshipping the Messenger of the “Sun of God” — Assyris. And Assyris covers all with His Divine Light…

… And then — many bonfires and circle dances. And the arms of consciousnesses growing from the spiritual hearts connect all. In the circle dance, all merge into one consciousness. Immense joy — of merging of pure souls…

Circle dances, like spring brooks, run in united movement. And the flames of fires shine as the symbols of the Divine Flame!


Joy in the heart: the sun is rising!

Lada! Lada! Hands are together!

Heart to heart longs with love!

Heart with heart longs to unite!


Birches and firs are in our circle dance,

The sky whirls, the clouds rejoice!

The heart sings together with birds!

The joy flies over the fields!


The sun rises — and the joy is born!

Trees and birds whirl with us!

The song of spring sounds with streams!

The Sun of Svarog shines over us!


In the pure shining — let us merge together!

In the United Heart burns the Divine Flame!

Let us become Love created for God,

Before we jump into the Infinity of Svarog!


In the forest schoos there are different kinds of teachers. But the main Teacher — God — always is represented by the concrete Divine Teacher — Assyris, the Son (the Messenger) of Svarog. He gives lessons of meditation by explaining, showing, submerging students into His Depth… It is communication — with the Teacher, Friend, loving Father.

* * *

… I look at a transparent Sphere of goldish Light — this appearance Assyris assumes this time. He gives His next lesson.

I touch the Divine Consciousness with my hands, and — despite the lesson being quite usual — this touching again overfills me with love and tenderness.

Then I touch Him with the lips of the spiritual heart, and — as a consciousness — I dissolve… and assemble again in the state of “non-I”. There is no me anymore, but there remains everything around my former “I”…

Remembering about this at present, I recognize with surprise the method of “total reciprocity”, which I was taught in my current incarnation by Vladimir Antonov…

In this state of mine, Assyris submerges me into the Consciousness of the Earth and then — further, in the depths of space filled with Living Consciousness-Light. He easily changes the scales of perception. I can see everything inside and outside. Assyris says: “There is no you, there is only Me! I am in everything! You are also Me. Now there is nothing that you can consider as yourself!”

Then the consciousness expands more — and I find myself on the surface of a giant tender “Sun of God”; I look outside from Its surface…

I know that I have to become It all. Yet I cannot embrace It with myself… I just slightly fall deeper inside — and this gives me an intense feeling of bliss…

* * *

Next episode. This time I am older than in the previous memories. The freedom I feel, allows me to forget that somewhere there is my material body: now I am a giant body of consciousness…

It is so wonderful and easy to move in this state!…

I can embrace the fields and the forest; I can feel all beings living in them; I can caress and stroke them with my infinite arms of the spiritual heart…

And in front of me, right from beneath the surface of the Earth, “Sun”-Assyris rises. And I, as it was in that childhood, run towards Him stretching my arms… I enter into Him — Living “Sun” — as if into a gate which He has opened to me with His Spiritual Heart…

… Remembering this, I do not feel where is the boundary between that which I have cognized in that and what I have cognized in my present lifetime… For God, there are no sharp boundaries which separate our earthly incarnations… From the stage at which I have stopped that time, the lesson continues and goes on now… — the lesson of love and cognition of the Creator.



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