Posts Tagged ‘Light’

Campfire at Night

November 30, 2017

The fire burns in the quiet night, sparks rise smoothly upward with smoke.

Silence.

Peace.

Only the wood crackles in the fire.

The tenderness of the night, filled with God, is around…

This is the place of power of the Holy Spirits — Adler, Thoth-the-Atlantean, and Eagle. A little further away, the Mahadoubles of Volhva and Khem are located.

And this is an opportune time to feel the space, filled with God, around the body. That is, do not feel yourself inside the Infinity and Eternity of God, but the Infinity as myself, where the unit of time is Eternity…

* * *

If it does not work at once, you can — as a preparatory stage — master the following:

I fly on the planet Earth in the Eternity and Infinity of the multidimensional Absolute. Around are visible clusters of stars, galaxies… They are right and left, I am in the middle…

The Earth is only an infinitesimal bit in Infinity and Eternity of cosmic space filled with the Life of God.

There is only the universe, I do not feel myself — as a creature living in a material body.

This means that there has been a dissolution-merging of me into it.

* * *

The Holy Spirit Martha asks to write down for the incarnate people the following:

“Anything that does not advance towards Mergence with God, but exists in human life ‘just like that’, as something neutral, is also, to a large extent, an evil! People and other creatures are incarnated by God on the Earth in order to improve themselves, to become — as a result — like We, to flow into Our common One Universal We. Anything that does not correspond to the realization of this task or interferes with it, are clots of filth, which should be removed by people from their lives!”

* * *

It lights up…

In the vastness of the valley is the Light-Fiery Mahadouble-Mountain of the Holy Spirit Khem.

With the help of a developed spiritual heart, one can move into Him, merge with Him.

There is immense Happiness from the Mergence with God in that “other world”!

Such Mahadouble-Mountains and other Light-Fiery Divine Formations, created by the Holy Spirits, are intended to help people, embodied on the Earth.

Khem asks to clarify this for our readers:

“There may be a Higher Happiness from Mergence with God in His Blissful Rest.

“And there is also another shade of the Higher Happiness: Happiness not from the Divine Calm, but from the Creating.

“I will say it again in other words. There are two types of Supreme Happiness: from the Bliss of being the Rest of Living God — and from the active creating the Divine Souls.

“The souls that have awakened for the spiritual growth are like workpieces for manufacturing perfect details — the Divine Perfect Souls, the Compound Parts of the One Total. Holy Spirits, perform this work.

“Throughout the Earth, the Divine Persons can seek and find such positively evolving souls, cherish them, love, kiss, embrace, lead the way, immerse into Themselves!

“Through the love for such souls, you can continue to improve yourselves.

“But most of incarnate human souls do not respond to the Appeals of God. These are not yet ready-made souls: mired in vices, have not yet cleansed themselves to the proper degree, or are preoccupied with other matters that do not directly coincide with the desire to cognize the Creator.

“But incarnate people should strive to become like Us: to become Holy Spirits, being equal in Us — as per the Standards.

“And in personal spiritual perfecting, egocentrism should not dominate. On the contrary, the desire to better serve the Evolution of the Universal Consciousness, that is, God — should dominate. It is necessary to reach, then to turn back and — to help, help, help…”

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Story-Parable on the Thirst for Truth

November 10, 2017

Philip the Apostle

Written down by Anna Zubkova

Under the editorship of Vladimir Antonov
and with his commentary

Paul finally got lost in the endless desert… Only sand dunes were wherever you took out. Sandstorm was over. But that, which was the likeness of a road, disappeared without a trace…

Now he understood how vain he was to not follow the advice to wait out bad weather and start on a trip later.

It seemed to him that a couple of hours of driving cannot promise danger. Why put off the leaving for a few days, what I can reach today?…

To repair the car, it was not possible…

… From the “today” has already passed more than a week. Three days he spent near a broken and sanded car. Then he decided to go — go, relying on the Will of God. Chances to survive — already almost were none. Water is also no more. To think about how stupid it was to spend the water, which was with him, it was unbearable…

The way that he was going to overcome during a day, became infinite…

* * *

Desert — always is desert… Modern civilization only pretends that it can affect the desert.

In an afternoon — exhausting heat, at night — piercing cold…

Cars and camels for tourists and travelers, the hotel with a hint of European comfort — all this remains as in another world.

… Mirages in the desert…

He revered stories of mirages as fiction. For he himself, as a famous writer, did not neglect sometimes the similar.

Now these “fictions” pursued him. How many times he saw as if a lake surrounded by trees — and walked out with the last forces to it…

He tried not to believe mirages. But, all the same, went to where he imagined salvation. It was necessary to at least do something! Just sit and wait for death was not in his nature.

* * *

One evening he spoke to God: “If you want to take me out of here, do it right now! But if my life has the meaning and is needed for You — show me the way of salvation!”

Paul did not even really know what God he was referring to. How much he has read in books!… And he himself has written about the beliefs and religions of many different nations…

But now — to Whom he cried with all the soul?

He even almost laughed at this thought.

But the confidence that this is the only right way, strengthened in him: “There must be One Whom is called the Heavenly Father, the Creator!…”.

Paul asked to show the way or terminate his life right now.

He did not insist. He just asked to give him an answer, way out… into life or into death: “Let Him decide. If He exists, the Merciful and Almighty, — let me know the answer!”.

He went to sleep with the thought that, most likely, no longer to wake up here in this world, in this desert.

… But it was morning and nothing has changed.

The cold night was replaced by the scorching heat…

He walked and walked, without hope, simply walking, losing his last strength from fatigue and endless, as a desert, thirst.

* * *

Suddenly he saw footprints in the sand — the recent traces of human feet!

There was no one around. But this could not be a mirage: the tracks were here, at his feet, he could touch them by hands!

Paul cried, collected all the remnants of the forces.

Hoarse cry, escaping from the parched throat, seemed for him weak and miserable. He screamed again, calling for help to the person who has passed here recently.

Desert answered him with silence.

He went on the trail of an unknown person. It was the last hope.

Paul tried to think about that God… still manifested Himself! He, Paul, asked to show the way — and now he knows the direction!

It was getting dark, and Paul was not able to catch up the unknown traveler.

Hope almost left him: in fact, to see the traces, which still stronger was sanded in the dark, was no longer possible.

But another miracle happened: he saw in the distance a fire!

Paul strained his last strength, repeating to himself, like a mantra, a phrase from some book about deserts that mirages do not happen at night.

The fire did not disappear.

* * *

Paul approached the fire in the infinite thick darkness…

Finally, he entered the circle of light from a small campfire.

A man was sitting by the fire. He was not an Arab. He could be called European. He was dressed in light clothes, a woolen cape was above it. If now on the site of Paul was that former Paul, easily sneering over all people, — that “old Paul” would say that the stranger was dressed in a costume as some actor depicting a hermit in the desert in the days of the early Christians.

But now Paul was in no skepticism or irony.

The stranger nodded calmly to Paul in greeting and looked up at him with his quite amazing eyes, in which one could plunge — and seem to drown, disappear.

The man gestured to sit by the fire.

He pulled out of the folds of clothing the clay bowl and handed it to Paul. The cup was suddenly filled with water…

Not quite knowing what happened, Paul said with dry lips:

“Can I drink it?”

“Yes, you can quench your thirst,” — the stranger’s voice was just as amazing as his eyes. It sounded as if the infinity of Peace… But Paul felt all this by only some part of himself, which this voice, coming from the depths of the unknown, raised here and enveloped with the gentle presence of something mysterious…

… Paul remembered how one day he would like to interview one Indian who lives as a hermit in a mountain cave. He then spent a lot of effort to make a sensational report about the Indian yoga. But the hermit did not answer his questions. He only said to Paul: “You’re not ready yet!” And then sang a single sound mantra… The way it sounded — it was the sound of an infinite Silence. It did not look like nasal chanting mantras of “gurus” that he had encountered in India at every step. Something on this subject, Paul wrote in his diary, but then for some reason, almost forgot about this episode in the bustle and whirl of life…

The stranger’s voice was like that sound, but he said the most common words.

… And now Paul… drank, drank, drank… He waited for all that water to deplete, but it did not end…

“You can stay at the time: the water will not end and will always be, when you need it,” — the stranger said with a smile.

Paul, with some difficulty, pulled away from the bowl and put it, still full, next to him.

Then the stranger held out his hand to Paul, as if giving him something. Paul stared at the graceful palm, lit by the light of the fire, a few seconds, until he saw that the bread rests on the palm.

Bread — it suddenly appeared!… Or rather it could be said that the bread… has become visible…

Paul took still warm hunk by slightly trembling hands and thanked. The stranger nodded in response.

Fatigue and something else, such as a thick transparent peace, enveloped Paul from all sides, and did not allow being surprised or frightened. Everything was… as if usual. It was as if every day he drank water from the bowl, in which it does not end, and ate materialized bread.

Then the Stranger offered Paul to rest.

“Can I ask You a question?”

“Ask”.

“Are You — a hallucination?”

“Yes, I thought that of all the questions, you have accumulated, you would ask exactly this!” — He laughed loudly and held out His hand to Paul, on which He had just materialized the bread, — so that Paul could touch it.

The hand was amazingly beautiful, with thin graceful fingers. The skin of the Stranger was covered with the smooth golden tan of man with white skin, who spends much time in the sun. The Stranger was of the flesh, which could be touched.

“Yes, this My body now — it is the material reality,” — He confirmed. — “But there is also another Reality. And due to the fact that it is not material, it does not cease to be the Reality.

“But better we will talk about it tomorrow. Now you are most in need of rest.”

Paul lay down by the fire. The Stranger covered him with woolen cape as a blanket.

Paul fell asleep almost instantly…

* * *

In the morning, opening his eyes, Paul tried to understand whether all seen by him was a dream, or the fruit inflamed by thirst, hunger, exhaustion of imagination or, still, a reality…

Amazing Stranger was in the same place.

He welcomed Paul in silence — by a slight smile and nod.

Paul greeted Him in English, and thought for a moment about what language they were talking yesterday… Paul from childhood was fluent both in English, and French, but recently English was closer to him, he also wrote his books in English.

“You ought to wash,” — said the Stranger in English.

“Or would you prefer to speak French?” — He said in the same pure, as well as English, French.

“I prefer English.

“But to wash… here — where?”

The Stranger held out His hand in the direction of a large stone. The stone with some tension and a sound like cotton, suddenly split. From the resulting cracks, water started to flow.

Paul again was drinking, drinking… Then he bathed with cool clear water that flowed now in a small shallow basin near the stone. Gradually was formed a small lake…

“Clothes can also be washed.”

Paul did as said. He then laid washed out to dry clothes on the stone from which the newborn source flew.

* * *

Paul returned to the fire in a woolen cape of the Stranger.

Meanwhile, the Stranger laid out on a makeshift table made of pure linen — pieces of bread, nuts and fruits. And yet — bowls with water and juice.

Paul came up to this table. He turned to where he washed, checking: whether the marvelous source disappeared? But the stone with running from it stream of clear water was at the same place. Next was a small lake. On the other bank of it — appearing as from nowhere antelopes quenching thirst. They started at the look of surprised Paul.

“Do not scare them, they want to drink. Sit down at the table, breakfast is ready. And then we can continue the conversation.”

Paul came and sat beside Him.

“How do You do all this?”

“And how Jesus fed thousands with a few loaves?”

“But that is a Christian legend…”

“But I thought that you are a Christian. That’s you even are wearing a cross… Or is it — so simple: an ornament or amulet, like the Pagans do, ‘to be on the safe side’, or ‘from an evil eye’?”

“You’re almost right. Although I was baptized as a child, but — of me was not very good Christian, I still am questioning and read the manuscripts of different nations about their ‘gods’ and beliefs…”

“Searching for Truth — is not a sin! Reading and learning — it makes sense! Even Jesus has spent years of His life for the cognition of the different faiths of different nations — before He began to preach the Truth.

“And your baptism — does not matter… Another Baptism should be taken by the soul!

“However, now — the meal.”

And He looked by inviting gesture to the arranged on a clean cloth treats…

Paul was absorbed in satisfying hunger and thirst, and almost did not think about how wonderfully everything changed since last night…

* * *

When the breakfast came to an end, the Stranger still remained silent. He ate not a lot and slowly. Then Paul as if heard within himself the question:

“Did you want only to satisfy hunger and thirst — or you need the continuation of life for something more? Why would you like to live in this body: what to know, to understand, to make?”

The Stranger said slowly aloud the words that Paul had just heard inside himself-soul.

Paul thought. All life, like a film strip on fast-forward, appeared in front of him to remind him of his childhood with radiant perception of beauty and goodness, studying at the institute, the growing skepticism, career of a journalist and writer… His latest book — “Itineraries of a Lone Traveler” had a success… Then there were the fight for the circulation and quality, quarrel with the publisher… What he wanted, when he wrote the book? Money, fame, benefit of what he reveals unknown for people? Are needed for someone, in actual fact, all his arguments about the secret teachings of ancient Egypt, Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, religious myths and legends of various nations? All this seemed so important a few weeks ago. But now…

“Your next book could be more interesting. You now have the opportunity to ask about the important for you and get answers. You may ask.”

“Who are You?”

“It is not the best question to start with. My name — Philip. The rest you will learn gradually.”

The next question froze on the lips of Paul, and he did not dare to say it aloud: “Are You — the Apostle, Satellite, and the Disciple of Jesus? But how is this possible: two thousand years ago — and now… alive?”

But Philip still answered this non-pronounced question — again as if by a voice that Paul heard inside. And then He repeated again the said, slowly and quietly uttering the words:

“Why do you think that this is impossible? You yesterday were looking for a meeting with the One Who will reveal to you the Path to the true knowledge. I use the word Path, because it’s impossible to reveal the Truth to another soul directly, just as it is impossible to quench your thirst by giving a drink to another man instead of you. Each should discover the Eternal Truth himself or herself. There can be only a little help in finding this Path by others.

“You aspired to God as well as here in the desert rushed for mirages. One mirage in life was replaced by other, but no one has brought you closer to the Truth. And a number of distractions pursue you from all sides so that you could get lost or even forget about the Goal.

“If lots of people follow along in a certain direction, it seems to them that they know where to go. But this is not always right…”

… Paul understood that the pronunciation of thoughts aloud was not necessary to communicate with Philip. But Philip has used it only as a confirmation: that in mind of Paul were no doubts in understanding of what he perceived as the answers.

Paul used to be very fond of the question on the possibility of telepathy, but he did not think it could be done so easy with himself.

Philip continued:

“Why do you think that the appearance in the resurrected body on the Earth after large time is not possible? You yourself believe in the reality of the resurrection of Jesus in the deified material body, right? You even wrote an entire article on the ‘Shroud of Turin’, which captures the negative of bodily form of Jesus at the moment of dematerialization of His body. And you yourself argued that the One Who was able to dematerialize His body — easily could recreate the body again…

“Why do you think that He did not want to teach others the same?”

“And have You mastered this?”

“Yes, but not immediately.

“And now tell Me: who are you?”

… The usual question caught Paul unawares: it seemed to him that Philip knew everything about him, even He read his articles.

“My name is Paul,” — Paul decided to compete with Philip in brevity.

“Why are you here — a person living on the planet Earth? Have you thought about this?”

“Yes, I thought… I thought that we all are here to learn…”

“Good answer!”

“Yes, I was looking for the Truth! I expounded in my books all that I saw, learned, and considered as the significant. I included into them also my thoughts about what I saw, about the people encountered, heard about the legends…”

“What will happen with all your knowledge, when the body dies?”

“It will remain in my books… Perhaps this can help others in their search…”

“What do you think: have you lived before being born in this body? And will you live without a body after its death? And will you be born in a new body to continue to improve?”

“It’s not fair! You promised to answer my questions, but instead throw me with questions whose answers I was looking for and did not find!”

“I help you to learn to find the right answers! I have still only begun!

“You read many times right and wrong answers to these questions, but did not feel, did not recognize the Truth! You many times passed the Truth!

“All external knowledge is only the husk! It is possible to believe or not to believe… But this “belief” does not change anything in man!”

“Christianity rejects the knowledge on reincarnation. Hinduism…”

“And you yourself? I’m aware that you’re familiar with the modern doctrines of different directions of faith, including of those people who call themselves ‘Christians’. You read, too, the books of many other different nations… But I ask you: what do you think about this — you yourself?”

“I thought, it would be right for the new incarnation to be — for one who made mistakes, … for one who started to learn, but did not know all… I think it is more reasonable, than the eternal torment of hell or eternal bliss of paradise. It does not seem logical to me a death, for example, of a baby: if its life was cut short, almost before it began… There must be an opportunity for it yet!…”

“Perfectly! Brilliantly! You’re already making progress!”

“But people do not remember their past lives. And those minority, who argue that they recall, — cannot prove that this is not a fantasy. And the Bible and other books do not explain…”

“Did you think about the meaning of your life and lives of other creatures, of the interconnectedness of souls, who come to the Earth, about God, if He is, to be fair, is not it?”

“Yes, You have well formulated my thoughts. I did not understand why various people so differently worship a Higher Power, God, claiming that only their faith is true, and that only “their God” indeed exists. But there are those who recognize the multitude of Gods or Saints…”

“You would like to receive a ready answer from the books. But you were looking from the outside. But the Truth must be found within.

“The first, and you did this, — one needs to set a goal and look for it. There are so many those who are not interested in the meaning of life, they just go with the flow, in accordance with their instincts and reflexes… But there are other people who are willing to spend a lifetime searching for the Truth!

“The second thing to do is the direct cognition of the Truth through personal experience. The entrance to these states you have inside you.

“Jesus pointed the Path for approaching the Creator: ‘God is Love!’. That is, He can be cognized only by becoming soul-love by developing oneself as a spiritual heart.

“Krishna also taught about it: “Only love can contemplate Me in My Innermost Essence and merge with Me!”.

“To cognize oneself as the Atman and Higher ‘I’, to cognize the Primordial Consciousness and to flow into Him — one has to become a developed and loving consciousness! Christians-Hesychasts believed that this stage — that is, the transformation of the me-soul into the spiritual heart — is the most important.

“The knowledge that you get from the level of words, rather than on the basis of the experience of the soul, — remains external, superficial knowledge. It is only information for thinking, it is useful, but… But the Truth can be really cognized only through your own experience! This is the knowledge gained as states of consciousness in Union with the Creator.

“Initially, these moments are brief. But it is possible to reach the level of knowledge, about which Jesus said: ‘I and the Father are One’.”

“Have all the Apostles managed this?”

“Many. Some of Them — quickly, others took more incarnations.

“But not only Jesus and His disciples have cognized this.

“Those, Who have mastered the Mergence with the Primordial Universal Consciousness, the Great United We, Which is called by people for the sake of simplicity as God, — Those can draw knowledge directly from the Source of the Universal Love, Wisdom and Power, Who are now at Their disposal. All the knowledge, stored in the Absolute, is provided to Them upon request. And this is limited only by the ability and experience of that Consciousness, which perceives this Knowledge.”

“Do You want to say that Those, Who have attained the Mergence, may also have restrictions?”

“I mean that the possibility to improve is boundless! This applies, too, to the Evolution and Life of the One, consisting of the Multitude.

“But for a person to start this Path, he or she needs to work hard.

“To replace one’s savage instincts by the Divine Awareness is not possible quickly.

“Souls gradually climb the ladder of development: from the lower forms of consciousness — to the top. This evolution begins in the tiny droplets of consciousness, growing, being fastened to the crystal lattices of minerals. Then the germs of souls grow, being connected with the plant’s and then animals’ bodies.

“Only man, who matured in a long series of incarnations, is able to improve oneself-soul — consciously. You have now already not the first incarnation of looking for the Truth, and you now have real chances to succeed.

“You are a vegetarian. You chose this according to the conviction that man does not want to commit the murder of any innocent animals. This is — a serious first step on the Path of goodness.

“You are doing Hatha Yoga. However, you were doing this as exercises for health. But even in this version, it has brought good results. The energies of your body are clean and are in very good state, when compared to the average majority.

“You are prepared to try and take the big stages of the spiritual Path. Do you want it?”

“Can there be any doubts? Yes!”

“To begin, you need to explore the intangible for usual vision, but very real structures of the organism: chakras and meridians. They allow one to trace the relationships between the soul-jiva — and its material body.

* * *

Philip started training Paul.

He explained how it is possible to move the concentration of self-soul through the chakras and meridians. Paul really felt, how the state of the soul changes from simple immersion, for example, in the chakra anahata: peace and love becomes natural, dominant thoughts disappear.

A few days Paul has devoted for clearing these energy structures.

The second task was to learn to live by the spiritual heart. Here Paul had to work much longer: in fact, the habit of constantly thinking about something — accustomed to life in the head chakras.

But Philip explained:

“It is necessary to master the continuous existence by the spiritual heart. It is the overriding basis for a correctly developing soul!

“The spiritual heart must become much more than anahata chakra, located in the chest of the body, where the spiritual heart began to grow from.

“The ability to be a soul-love, which has become much more than the tangible body size, fundamentally changes the status of the person. This is the first stage of the spiritual Path. Even just doing it — makes achieving the paradise as the natural state!

“And this step also opens the door to the secret world of the Divine Reality!

“The entire esoteric Path is needed for only mature and wise souls.

“But the ability to live as a soul-love — is adequate for every soul, it does not hurt anyone. It will bring all souls to the light and joy of life, even when life of the body lasts. And after the death of the body — it provides the life of the soul in blissful harmony of the paradise!”

* * *

Paul now spent a lot of time in meditations, filling by the soul-love the space above the Earth’s surface.

Endless desert, which before seemed to him such a ruthless and brutal, now… gave him the opportunity to expand the spiritual heart more and more, covering the entire space.

His previous attempts to “meditate” — sitting cross-legged and concentrating in the head or eyebrows, looked now as a funny game of a child who tries to show something, about which it does not know anything…

And Philip was gradually revealing to Paul the new horizons:

“Now you already have the understanding that you are a soul, not a body, endowed with the mind and organs for communication with the outside material world. Now you have the opportunity to cognize also that God is also the Reality. I will help you to gain first experience of direct perception of God.

“But for this it is necessary to feel the reality of life of the soul, without the limitations of perception, that overlap the material body.

“A soul, when incarnate, is connected with a body. This bond forms during embryonic development. Having been born in the material world, a person learns — through the body — to see, hear, feel, think. A child begins to interact with the world of matter with a help of this tool — the material body.

“But the soul can do all the same without having a body. It can see, hear, feel, think in other planes of existence in the Absolute.

“There are the enormous potentials to control matter from the Divine plan of life! But this is for you — the long perspective. Walking on water and materializing the bread or the water — this is possible for only the soul which has realized its Unity with the Primordial Consciousness, God! To do this, the soul, free from the limitations of matter, must learn to live and act in the subtlest layers of the Absolute.

“Not all the Divine Souls have reached the immortality of Their material bodies. Not many have mastered the full deification of Their bodies, like Jesus. And taking the body from the material world — it is not an obligatory feature of achieving the Mergence with the Creator.

“So, the main conclusion: the incarnate man-soul can communicate with God!

“Now, about — how.

“Let us return to our practical work. I promised you the experience of such interaction with God.

“To do this, the soul must be developed as a spiritual heart, that is, as love. If not — all is confined by fantasy, mental images created by the mind. This is the ‘stumbling block’, which stopped very many beginners in their spiritual search.

“So, the most important step on the Path — it is the development of the spiritual heart.

“Feel yourself in the anahata chakra as a whole, like in a room. Now open the window ahead — and clean the ‘room’ of all trash and shadows.

“Next, let your love, as a gentle light, shine and illuminate the space ahead! As well as a spotlight or the headlights of the car at night illuminate the space in front of you — so love of the soul can illuminate and caress space and all the living in it! At first, illuminate the visible by body’s eyes space, and then farther and farther ahead…”

… Paul loved the night driving of a car on the empty road… And now he was very apt to feel the light that illuminates the space in front! It was like a heart’s light is now illuminating his way through life!

Philip continued:

“Now in a bodily primary abode of the spiritual heart — the anahata chakra — it is possible to turn back the face of the soul. You can open another window — into the space of the Divine Light.

“Try to look back from the anahata chakra — just like staring ahead… Do you see the Light?”

“Yes.”

“Come into that Light! Immerse yourself in It, as in the vast Ocean! Dissolve in It, going as far as possible…

“Now try to look from the Light to there where in the body you have lived before…

“And again — let it be only the Light!

“You were willing to take from God the experience of death of the body. Now — a part of this experience: the life in the Divine Light without feeling the body. If the body dies — then you’re… you remain! And you continue to live in the Light, being It, is it not?

“Being in this Light, you can feel It between the fingers of the hands of the soul.

“Or you can try to hug It — Infinite — with your arms. This leads to a state of blissful joy, delight!

“This Light consists of the mutually merged Consciousnesses of All the Attained.

“You can take Their Desires and Intentions.

“Feel your arms of the consciousness! They — are huge and can be even more, more… They can touch everything by the fingertips or take on the palms any creature.

“In the Christian tradition, this Light is called the Holy Spirit, in Hinduism — Brahman.

“Merged with the Flow of this Light, flow by It through your material body and around it, then — from above — down, upwards, from back — forward, from ahead — back. It is flowing the River of the Divine Love! Learn to always feel in the Communion with this Divine Love!”

… Paul miraculously perceived himself in confluence with the Divine Light, and at the same time… his body was on the sand.

He was now the Part of this Light.

He has realized that what he read in the New Testament: one needs to go by the soul towards God-Spirit!

He was infinitely free and infinitely happy!

But this state did not last long: the fatigue of meditations forced back into the body.

“Well, now you really have got the baptism in the Holy Spirit!” — Philip congratulated him. — “You can now be considered as the real Christian!

“A process of gradual transformation of the soul into the Divine Light is called Enlightenment. And one, strengthened in the state of Divine Light, is called Enlightened.”

* * *

Between these meditations, Paul again felt like a prisoner of the body. And this saddened him.

Philip once replied to these thoughts, which were not expressed aloud:

“Not all at once! Even you — who had already not small spiritual experiences in your past lives — need time to get used to the new states of consciousness.

“You will need a long time to work on the extension-growth of yourself as a spiritual heart, and on the further purification of structures inside the body and filling them with the Divine Light.

“Only when the substitution of the energies within your body by the Divine Light will be reached — it will be easy to live in this Light all the time. Then the Light will be your Home — the Home of the Soul. This Home does not have to be exited, despite the fact that the body is in the material world.”

… Philip showed to Paul every day more and more new methods of work on the expansion of the consciousness as love and replacing energies in the body.

* * *

After a few days, one night, Philip asked Paul:

“Would you like to talk with Jesus?”

“With Jesus? I?”

“What are you so puzzled about? You can not decide? But you believe that Jesus can hear what people say to Him, right? Those, who recite prayers in the temples, can they probably believe that they are heard by Him?

“Many people are crying out to Jesus. It is because they know about Him more than on many Others, Who have reached the state of Christ.

“All of Them and Each of Them may now be called as the Holy Spirit.

“One can selectively appeal to Someone among Them.

“The Creator consists of this Set of the Perfects!

“Their entry into the Creator is similar to the drops of water which flow into the ocean and become merged there with those drops that have flowed into the ocean before.

“These, the Perfects compose the Great United We! Someone calls Him God-the-Father, someone — Tao, someone — Allah, but the difference is only in words.

“Divine Consciousness, called the Primordial, — this is the Multitude of the Divine Consciousnesses mutually merged in One!

“But Each of Them can act in the Creation, parting Oneself. Just as the wave can rise above the ocean, while remaining an integral part of it, — and Those, Who have attained, can manifest Themselves, remaining in the Unity with the Ocean of the Creator.

“So, would you like to talk with Jesus?”

“Yes!” — Paul said emphatically, understanding that, if he refuses, then he will never forgive this to himself.

Something from his journalistic past flashed as a strange thought: “I did not ever think that it is possible to interview Jesus Himself!”

… There was the Light, approaching from the intangible depth. It was like the rising sun… Light approached. In It, was manifesting the image of Jesus.

And now — Jesus, the living Jesus!

He and Philip embraced…

Then Jesus went up at arm’s length to Paul. Paul tried to touch His clothes. Jesus was composed of Light, the body was not material.

Jesus said:

“It is not an illusion. This is the reality. Are you still not satisfied with the words of Philip, Who explained to you that the difference between matter and Light — it’s only the energy levels of subtlety?

“Why do you need My material body? In order to write a sensational report about a meeting with Jesus? For everyone, who reads your book, begins to seek a meeting with My materialized body?

“Well, look: My body may be the material.”

Jesus condensed His body of Light and sat down next to Paul and Philip by campfire. He continued:

“Miracles, in fact, do not change anything fundamental in human souls! However, I will be glad, if you write about that for each person either praying in the temple, or bustling in a big store, or going by a train, or sailing on a ship — can stand, sit, speak — and not notice that He, with Whom he or she is nearby, is Jesus. I have a lot of times of this happening among embodied people, and they did not recognize Me, did not hear Me…

“It would be nice, if everyone will know that pushing someone by elbows amid the bustle, he or she can alienate, without noticing, and Jesus…

“Within all this time, people, too, have not learned to see in each person a brother or sister…

“If I come, as before, and begin to perform miracles — I certainly would be called a ‘false prophet’!

“But for those, who know Me, — they do not need My body, consisting of flesh.”

“But why did You come in the body then — 2000 years ago?”

“I was sent into this hell of suffering and misery in earthly life — to point medicine and antidotes against them. I did it, too, by presenting people the Teachings about the Path of Love!

“Among the darkness of ignorance, I kindled the Lamp of Truth. I have shown the ability to be only Love — even in the hatred and other abominations of human souls!

“I showed people the Path of Love! I spoke about the possibility of exit from hell — to the Light of the Creator, to cognition of Him and Mergence with Him!

“The Path of service to God — this is to go where the bad, where you will be hated, killed… And one should be only the Pure Love, continuing to bring to people the Truth of God! Each of the Coming from the Heavenly Father onto the Earth — demonstrates this by His or Her life!

“In words — everything is easier. But Christ must live so — every day and hour, every minute of life on the Earth, not allowing the flame of heart to be extinguished and without breaking the Сonsubstantiality with the Father!

“Are you ready to start this? After all, just for this our meeting was planned!”

“I do not know, if I can do…?”

“You do not know this, until you try!”

“Tell me, did Your earthly life’s Feat help someone? Was it necessary for people? For they have forgotten everything again!”

“My Teachings have helped many. People need to be aware of the Path to achieve the Oneness with the Creator!

“Those, who then had understood Me, — they went this Path. We had got — many. And many others there were, who just approached and keep going.

“Even when darkness thickens around and there is no hope that the Light will shine — then it is only love that saves us from darkness and allows to keep a basis only in God!”

“And that gets up the so-called ‘Christianity’? Crusades? Inquisition? It does not fit into an understanding!”

“Any medicine, when used incorrectly, can become a poison…

“Even the most useful word or action, if it is not used properly or for evil intentions, — can bring the evil…

“I’m not talking about the distortions that were added intentionally by those who converted the Teachings of God — into a way to control people for the sake of themselves!

“In the wrong application, the force can become the violence, caution — cowardice, excessive concern — the suppression of development.

“Also, the belief in the existence of God can keep a person from evil. But the criminal leaders of religious movements make people, having fallen under their influence, to be perpetrators.

“Only the mastered love allows one to gain Wisdom to distinguish between good and evil — to a level as God distinguishes.

“And all is so simple!

“Everyone now can become My disciple — directly, without intermediaries!

“I would like you to tell people about it.

“And, to be My disciple, — it does not need to be close to My body!”

… Jesus dissolved His body’s image in the Light… and continued to speak. Paul easily understood Jesus, Who was now just a Light-Love, Light-Tenderness. This understanding was more than just hearing the words.

In the Light, the voice of Jesus continues to sound:

“I am Omnipresent! I can be right now next to each man!

“Everyone can aspire to fulfill the principles of life, offered by God. This will be the true Christianity! Not only I, but many the Attained will help such man!

“Notice: now your mind is completely relaxed, and the silence has filled the spiritual heart!

“God can be perceived only by the developed spiritual heart. Only the soul that has become the love can touch the Divine Consciousness, Which is Love. To this, I have called people ever since — by the words “God is Love!”.

“But this cannot be passed to anyone by means of only words!

“But you — give me a hug! My Light and Love — are waiting for you! I was long waiting for this moment! I love you!”

… There was only Jesus — Blissful Light of God, Who immersed in Himself and dissolved in Himself…

The soft voice of Jesus continued:

“Try to feel that here are Many of Us.

“Here is, in particular, Philip. You will now always be able to recognize Him. And it is not necessary for Him to be physically close to you — for you to continue to be trained.”

… The space of the Divine Light — the space of another reality of existence, stunning first by Its Tenderness, Beauty, Greatness, and Simplicity — it now was clearly perceived by Paul, because He was now in It and being It.

Ever-evolving Consciousness, Divine United We — consists of a Set of Perfect Consciousness. It does not know decay and death! But it is full of mature Wisdom and Omnipotence, fused with a gentle and caring Endearment of the Perfect Love!

* * *

The last day of the life of Paul and Philip at the source in the middle of desert had come.

Philip said:

“Time of our joint stay here is over. Stage of your training with the help of My material body is coming to an end. Then you can take help and guidance for your growth without My presence on the plane of matter.

“Did you read about meditation Cross? Fullness of this meditation, including the “Right” and “Left”, you are to cognize later.

“Now, before we leave, we have to do one more thing. In memory of our meeting, we can give to the desert the new oasis. And to be precise — to return the landscape that was here thousands of years ago.

“Water is already here. It remains to sow the seeds.

“Take these seeds of dates and of some other plants that are able to take root here.”

… Paul and Philip walked around the newborn lake, throwing the seeds along the coast.

“Do you believe that here something will be able to grow? Here is just the sand!” — Paul said.

“Where is the source — life can always develop! Animals will come to the water, soon the first plants germinate — and then the soil is filled with power and allow other plants to germinate.

“You now also carry a source of the Truth.

“You will also need to work hard to ‘cultivate a field’ of yourself-consciousness, that is, to cognize the fullness of Mergence with God and to plant the ‘field’ by many seeds. You can grow yourself more and more, and to help others to do the same. You can do it wherever you live and work. And God will harvest!

“That’s all! For our bodies — it’s time to leave.

“You have already started to learn to listen by the consciousness and understand God’s plans!

“The ability to communicate by the consciousness with the Divine Consciousnesses will help you never be without Divine Help and Advices. Not only Jesus and I have come into your life. All the Messengers of Light are always ready to help those who are turning to Them. Call!”

… They embraced.

Then Philip went without looking back. A light breeze was sanding His tracks.

Paul filled the jar with water, folded stock of provisions, left to him by Philip, and went to people…

Three days later, he came up to where the ordinary human life was in full swing.

And he did not have any tangible evidence of all that had happened to him, in addition to that surprising fact that he was still alive.

http://www.swami-center.org/en/text/parables-of-masters/

 

Quite a Bit about Death

February 3, 2017

Anna Zubkova

“… When you are anxious,

ask advice from your death.
An immense amount of pettiness

will drop then off you…

Death is a wise adviser
that we have”.

Juan Matus [8,2728]

God regularly reminded me about the death of my material body, especially when I was losing myself in the hustle of earthly affairs…

Vladimir often suggested to us to try, if possible, to have no unfinished earthly affairs and earthly debts, including non-material affairs. He suggested us to live in such a way that if death comes right now — we would not be ashamed to die in front of God. And we would not look back to what we have forgotten to do…

God was very skillfully “playing along” to help Vladimir in this.

God showed me the “face of death” even through the threat of surgery (which did not take place): suggesting me to prepare for it as if I would not come out of narcosis. Or He showed the death of other people. Or was slightly hurrying me, directly reminding me that we do not live in our bodies forever. And that we should think about the things that are really important so that we have the time to get them done…

I will now tell about one of these episodes. At that time, I only started to study with Vladimir, and was still working at the studio. One time, I was running in a hurry at the studio yard with a bunch of suits in my hands — and at a turn I ran into a car, which fortunately was not moving very fast. This was during winter, it was very slippery! I was hit by the car and slipped — and found myself under the car. The driver, whitened with fear because of this, got me out and helped me to stand on my feet. He was surprised to see that I seemed to be all right…

I thanked God for this lesson! He showed me — quite specifically and intelligibly! — that death can happen very suddenly, when we least expect it…

But, God sometimes reminded me of death even after that, so that I did not forget that lesson — and hurried me up: for me to understand how much is still to be done.

For example, my mother, who accompanied a female friend, ill with cancer, to the hospital, told me that the turns of cancer patients were similar there to the crowds in crowded buses during “rush hours”. And I remember how God had once showed me — in a dream — myself standing in such a “turn for death”… Another variant of a turn, shown to me in the same dream, was in a comic form — “a turn” of Those Who had reached the Perfection — in front of the entrance to the Abode of the Creator… I saw then immediately how little I had done on this Path… And I also thought about how important it is to try to do as much as possible for others — so that they would also have time to think about all this…

… The illness and death of my mother’s friend taught me a lot too.

I was deeply grateful to that woman who once, during my first steps on my religious way, taught me the Christian humility. She was a sincere and deeply religious human.

Then — I tried to give her the knowledge that I had gained up to that time, but it did not turn out good. She, being an Orthodox, did not believe the things I was saying, did not accept my views, and did not want to read “sinful” books…

But, once, Jesus, speaking through me, promised her a healing. But He was also asking her — in gratitude for this — to keep fasting — a meat-free diet for all of her newly granted life. If okay, He recommended to confirm that the healing really happened — through repeating the tests on cancer. He told her exactly the date when it should be done. Analyses were carried out — and a reply was received: there were no cancer cells anymore.

But she still did not believe Jesus! The opinion of the church turned out to be more important for her!…

And then the cancer returned to her body…

One of the mechanisms of the manifestation of cancer — is the entering of souls of dead animals, killed and eaten, into the human body. These spirits create there “a nest” for themselves of cancer cells.

She died exactly one year later: on the very same day, in which — the year before — she was healed by Jesus…

She continued to accept with humility her fate until the last breath and strictly performed all the rituals and regulations of the church…

Imagine her shock, and confusion, when after the death of her body… she did not find herself in paradise! All did not turn out to be as the “pastors” promised her…

After she died, she came into my room. I had very little experience of communicating with non-divine souls — and did not immediately notice her. She tried to draw my attention to her. I felt bad, stuffy because of this. I did not understand what was happening and only after a while noticed her.

I sharply felt the pain of this deceived soul… To calm her down somehow, I asked her to sit on a chair, which stood in the room. She hung in the air over it in a sitting posture…

I tried to help her as much as I could… I offered to her to recollect the most tender emotions of love, which she experienced in her life, the peace and transparent silence of the autumn after she was healed, when she heard for the first time in her life how leaves fall to the ground in silence… And she found peace… But it is already impossible after death to obtain the state of love, which was not mastered by a soul during life of the body…

But how much more she could have done, as a sincere and deeply-religious human, if…

I strongly understood at that moment what an obstacle it is to not have access to true knowledge about God, about the meaning of our lives! And how important it is to make this knowledge available to all people!

Wearing “Rose-Colored Glasses” and Meetings with Evil

February 2, 2017

Anna Zubkova

Seeing only the good in everything, not noticing evil, living as if evil does not exist at all, — was the typical way of perceiving the world for me, since childhood. On one hand, it was good — I loved everyone and everything, since when you look through rose-colored glasses — it is very easy to love… But such a “defect of vision” could not suit God: it is impossible to eradicate evil, if you do not see it, it is also impossible to help others in this…

“We can tear out evil only if we recognize it. If we are ignorant of it, it will continue to grow its roots and grow itself in us… Ignorance of it is the mother of evil in us,” — Apostle Philip wrote down [6,8].

I was ready to deal and fight against vices, eradicate them from myself — it was quite easy for God to bring me up to this understanding. But to see that evil exists outside of us too, misunderstanding of this and carelessness in this — may lead to troubles — this was more difficult for me…

So God started to explain this to me.

For example, I thought that, if I loved dogs and was not afraid of them, — then no dog would bite me! So, one day I was walking, overflowed with love and joy, — when a dog pounced on me and bit me. Its angry-drunken owner was sitting on the steps of a store — and was enjoying the scene…

Understanding that there are people who are much worse than the most vicious dogs, who do not even need a reason to do evil, it was becoming hard in me…

Vladimir often showed us the reality of the present and past political situations of our country — and I tried to recognize that the lyrics: “Wide is my dear country, where man breathes so freely!” — do not reflect the real state of things. He also spoke to us about the “Christian” inquisition, about the history of the perversions in other religious movements, about those I had always thought only good, but I knew only about the superficial layer… Every time, I felt like I was scalded with boiling water and that my skin was being removed from me… How easy it is to love a sweet fiction and continue to think: “How everything around is so wonderful!”…

God was strongly trying to explain this to me, so that I could “get it” without having to experience a big calamity on the material plane. He showed it to me up close, but from a side. He was trying to teach me caution — with the same tenderness as it was in my early youth…

… I remember how once, during a tourist trip, I walked alone in the mountains. Just like with dogs, I was not afraid of people at all. I enjoyed the spaciousness and beauty…, when a man, who looked more like a terrible wild animal, approached me. He took my wrist with force and commanded me to go with him. I was not very afraid and said that I did not want to go with him — and I thought that it was enough for him to let me go. But he did not let me go. He also apparently had never seen such a “wild” specimen before. He held my hand for the entire time on the way to the… tourist base… He told me to never walk alone… Only a bruise on my wrist remained after that incident…

So then and now — through pain and tears — God offers to see and realize the existence and manifestation of evil on the Earth. By the same way, He sometimes painfully squeezes my hand and shows me what I previously feared and did not want to see.

He offered to develop in me the wise caution of a spiritual warrior. He suggested to me to love not a fictitious “humanity” while living and serving Him in this world, but, to see the truth, to become namely a wise Love. He offered me to learn to help everyone in everything good — just as He helps!

 

 

Miracles

June 7, 2016

Anna Zubkova

All my life I lived with the desire to see a miracle, with the belief in miracles. I believed that it was possible: to fly, to heal with the Divine Touch, to resurrect…

The real miracles came into my life together with the start of my discipleship. But my childish-egoistic desire of the materialization of something that I could touch with my hands continued to live in me… The miracle of the cognition of God did not replace my ordinary human notions completely, thinking that a miracle — is when things appear “out of thin air” or when a train wagon or a plane disappears or when it’s snowing in a hall…

I already knew how to merge with the flow of Pranava, with Mahadoubles of our Divine Teachers, was entering — just a little at that time — the Abode of the Creator… But I already did not consider this experience like miracles. This became — usual… — what kind of miracle is there to be seen in this?! It was similar to the way we do not see the miracle of the blossoming bud, in a huge tree, in spring which grow out of a tiny seed, in the miracle of life, in the miracle of the beauty of God’s Creation…

And so, one time, David Copperfield explained that to me with a joke — and also with the help of a miracle…

… We were in the forest, it was the end of summer, and we had been working a lot that day, walked at least fifteen kilometers, and were tired…

David came. And it became so joyful due to His presence, that our fatigue passed entirely…

It occurred to me to ask David for a miracle. It would cost Him nothing to materialize a little snowflake on my palm! Nobody would even notice: the snowflake would melt immediately… I walked for some time with the palm of my hand imperceptibly offered to Him, and then forgot about my silly request… — I was walking and admiring David, His Divine Smile…

And suddenly, after a few minutes, in a clear sky with a shining sun, — a tiny dark gray cloud started to appear. And… with a gust of wind, snow and hail began falling on us… The sun continued to shine brilliantly, as a dazzling smile of David shined: you wanted a miracle — here it is!

… I was holding melting snowflakes on my palms, breathless with excitement…

But I also had to repent: we all were soaked because of me.

… And then, again, we experienced the true miracle: our Divine Teachers Sathya Sai Baba, Jesus, Krishna, David — helped us to Merge with Him, we immersed ourselves again into the Abode of the Creator…

I will not even attempt to explain how we feel when an individual consciousness touches the Consciousness of the Creator, will not try to speak about the states of dissolution, or Mergence… This knowledge cannot be transmitted only through words. Let everyone, who embarks on the Path, cognize it by themselves…


http://swami-center.org/en/text/autobiographies/

Teaching

May 16, 2016

Anna Zubkova

We were not only learning new things for ourselves, we were also learning to give received knowledge to others, in particular, to teach.

There have always been a few worthy students ready to receive this teaching. Sometimes we all, in turn, conducted classes with one or two chosen ones… For a very long time, many years, Vladimir did not make a massive recruitment among those who wanted to study. Since then, very few received the possibility to study at least at the initial stages.

One of the difficulties for me has always been the ability to see the drawbacks, mistakes and vices of students. Here my “pink glasses” were greatly hindering me. Drawbacks in others, if I noticed them, seemed to me to be insignificant. I talked about those excessively softly — and… people were just not taking my words seriously…

But this is extremely dangerous — when the process of the growth of consciousness happens… along with the soul’s vices…

Vladimir, of course, scolded me for this. And God scolded me to — and the further I got — the more strict they became:

“Are you really ready to serve Me?

“Here: I give you My children into your hands! You have to love them, as I do, bring them up, as Vladimir does! And you… only ‘smooth’ their defects!

“You, when bringing them up, should take the responsibility for their destinies! Your concern for them cannot be limited to the subjects of: eating, drinking, and giving meditations! For there is also God and ethics, philosophy, there is a life side by side with Me, in which you must be an example to be followed, imitated every second…

“Your role now — is not correct: you just want to be ‘a good mom!’… You depict an upbringing, instead of love, from which I both — scold and praise, and never let My hands go, on which I hold the whole situation from My Depths!

“My Love has no pity! I make precise strikes against vices of My students, because I know that this clears them from ‘ego shells’ which separate them from Me!

“Are you ready henceforth to take the whole burden of responsibility for the people’s lives — of whom I entrusted you?

“Herewith, it must be remembered that the fullness of the responsibility for the fate of the students implies the ability to feel My Will in every moment — Will of the Creator, which is directed to the benefit of each soul!”

… Thus God was teaching me to understand people, to see the abilities and potentials of souls, see the longing for Him, or its absence, see vices and the ability of each student to discover them in oneself and get rid of them…

And it was not always those, who seemed to be more capable than others — due to their achievements of their past lives, who stayed with us. For some reasons, it seemed that God turned out to be… not needed… to many of those, for whom everything was easy to master. And only those, who were working tirelessly over themselves and burning with great love for Him stayed with us. It is such souls ready to fight for their impeccability and filled with love — that are needed from God!

* * *

Sometimes it was very painful for me as for all of us to see and understand that certain persons could not move on…

The causes of their withdrawal in such cases may be different, but the best thing that could happen is if they just lost interest in the work — and leave.

But if a person is unable to deal intellectually with one’s vices and sometimes even defends one’s right to possess them: “I am right, I am scolded for nothing”, or they do not put efforts in their elimination — then a student must be immediately stopped.

God spoke to me about this in such a way:

“Serious meditative practice is associated with the rapid growth of the consciousness, and this requires getting rid of vices quickly.

“And besides the work of remaking oneself is performed by the students themselves, God-Teachers — only help and give advice. The students must consciously accept the Path and put themselves under the guidance of God. Through this, the students ask God to guide them. Thus the students become allies of God in this work over their own imperfections and make maximum efforts to change. They must, with “clenched teeth”, endure the pain of surgery removing the vicious pieces of one’s ego.

If the students do so — they can move on, if not — then STOP!”

* * *

I would like to say one more thing. I personally witnessed this only once, but I have heard that such things happened before.

How easily it is forgotten sometimes, by some former followers, that they did not pave the way that they were helped to go on, themselves, that the most powerful techniques were received by them as a gift!

“And that the one who receives gifts and gives nothing in return is in reality a thief,” — so God taught us (See the Bhagavad Gita in [7].).

But somehow, some of them suddenly say: “Now I will create my own techniques myself, Antonov is too strict and demanding, I now know God better than him, I hear, see and can do everything myself!…“

Then takes place a complete “rollback”, lost of past accomplishment, degradation, or at best a stand still till the end of the incarnation.

As a branch, that grew up attached to the trunk of a tree which would suddenly announce its disagreement with the roots and trunk, which nourished and nurtured it, would dry up and bring no more fruit, — thus the further development of such people are stopped by God…

* * *

Once, Vladimir told us a parable saying that the spiritual Path is similar to crossing to the other bank of a turbulent and broad river. And that in the boat we should not take with us those, who in the middle, suddenly, will be scared, or remember that they forgot to take something with them, want to go back, start to panic and sink the boat… It is better for those, who are not ready to overcome the Path, to stay at their bank. We should not take them with us, even if they strongly ask for it…


http://swami-center.org/en/text/autobiographies/

Monasticism

May 11, 2016

Anna Zubkova

“… The discernment of one person does not stretch the wings on to another.

Khalil Gibran [7,16]

“God is cognizable only in the true monasticism!”
Vladimir Antonov

(From the film “Places of Power”)

I have already mentioned that from a certain point the current of my life clearly divided into two streams. And the one that flowed in the physical world, — was sharply slowing, stopping an unnecessary race for the illusory, transient values. And there was the other one, carrying me to the fullness of cognition of the Creator, — which was incredibly intense and accelerating. From a certain point the habitual course of events ceased to exist. Only the stages on the Path remained, which were determining changes in my life on the material plane.

A monk — is one who is completely devoting himself to God only: learning to cognize Him, loving Him and serving Him, through spiritual help to others.

I fully understood this formulation, outlined by Vladimir. But it is one thing — to understand the theory, but another and difficult task — to implement it in a real life situation.

So God created a situation where I had to make a definitive choice.

… I was combining the work that I loved in a movie studio with spiritual studies for quite a long time. But at one time, I was offered a job on a film which consisted in an expedition to Egypt (a free trip, wages in hard currency, excellent film director and actors). But on the other hand, there was — the Divine Teachers Ptahhotep and Elisabeth Haich Who were beginning to reveal to us ancient time esoteric mysteries from Egypt.

I understood that if I was to go on the expedition — these doors could never open themselves for me again, the ones that God was opening.

I did not even ask Vladimir about this situation: I knew that if I had, he would have said: “Of course, go, if it’s what you want!”… I had to make this decision myself. And it then became clear for me: I decided not to go and transferred all my currant affairs to a good person and then… I left the keys inside the wardrobe, and slammed the door which had two locks… The door of the world of illusions was closed forever for me…

Other ways of life, other than a life, completely dedicated to the service of God and consisting in moving on the Path to the fullness and realization of the meaning of one’s existence, was already unthinkable for me. God no longer needed to ask me about this, there was already no way back!

* * *

Being a monk — is a state of the soul, one on one with God. This is exactly what true monasticism is. It does not consist at all in things like removing ourselves from “the world”, or adopting new names, wearing special clothes, etc.

Vladimir always taught us to interact with God directly.

In particular, he sometimes suggested to each one of us to stay alone with God in the woods, drift apart to some distance, — to feel that there was only Him and each one of us.

Once, each of us even got to live in a complete forest “retreat” for a whole week. At that time, we got to look for places of power ourselves for the first time, and learned to feel the direct guidance of God.

It always has been an invaluable experience that allowed us to learn to have a more complete and intimate interaction with Him — the Loving Father, Strict Teacher, Only Beloved, Infinite Ocean of Love…

God Himself was unfolding situations in our lives so, that understanding came to us: in fact we should rely only on Him and no one else, not even incarnate Masters, not even on the most dear and closest companions on our Path.

* * *

At first, God was only telling me encouraging words on the early stages of the Path, dictating verses of love and talking to me about the bliss of Mergence with Him, but then, the more profound and mature my relationship became with Him, the more strict He became.

The closer you approach Him — bigger are the efforts He requires from His disciples.

I will give now some examples from my conversations with Him to illustrate this:

“There can be no meditation without love!

“Why is it that love sometimes disappears in us? — The reason is that some part of us-soul has not yet been cleansed from the vices and is not crystal clear, only that can merge with Me! The soul must be absolutely pure, fearless in its aspirations, gentle and transparent!

“This is — what you have to do for Me, you have to clean yourself from vices and rebuild yourself as a soul, filled with love, and offer yourself to Me.

“The things, that you do out of imitation and that are not coming from your own inner convictions, — are short-lived and fly off like a husk.

“’The ones who are led to Me by a leash’ cannot enter into Me!

“You must learn to rely only on Me — and be fearless! The heart, filled with My Love, cannot be afraid, neither for oneself nor for others!

“Understand that My concerns are not in the creation of comfort and peace for you or My other students. My concerns right now — are about you overcoming your “self”, throwing off “the human form” (See “The Teachings of Juan Matus” in [7].).

“Study, — for this sake — see My blessings in every situation. I created them for you and for all the living beings. Rain, cold, a train cancellation — everything can be turned into blessings! Learn to use every situation — to become better!

“Do not be afraid of failures! In defeats, the will to win becomes tempered! Those searching for an easy way cannot reach the end!

“Also understand: That I do not expect that you become perfect instantly. Accept calmly the fact that mistakes are inevitable for those who have the courage to act! Just remember that the wise do not repeat these mistakes twice.

“And remember: that I am — near you, I am — always ready to come to your aid!

“I teach you COOPERATION with Me! This is the only way you will learn to live and act in Mergence!

“Remember firmly and forever:

“The state of ‘nothing turns out’ — is a challenge! It is — a challenge to become better, to change — and to take the next step! Life of a spiritual warrior consists of challenges that he/she accepts as a great gift, — and comes out the winner in the battle against one’s own imperfection!

“Learn to act in Unity with Me! I do not accept your service as ‘a shudra’ any more, when one only acts as told. I expect from you a sense of initiative and creativity! And accept — only love as gifts!

“But do not deny the right of the ego to “self-determination”! Offer your gifts to Me, your ideas, your proposals. Then we will be able to work together you and I on the things that I have accepted. This joint work will teach you to Unite yourself with Me!

“You must not be like a chip of wood without any propulsion, helplessly floating on the waves of the ocean, and neither should you be like a ship, going against the waves and the wind, directing your course, — be like a wave, consubstantial with Me the Primordial Ocean! The waves go up and down — but still they never cease to be the Ocean, and when the calm comes — there are no waves anymore, only the Ocean remains!

“Correct yourself! Do not force Me to teach you through pain!

“Understand that when I have to teach you through pain, I always suffer more than you do! So please stop hurting Me!

“There are events that come into your life caused by the inertia and passivity of your life. If a person, embarked on the spiritual Path, for a very long time, and has not yet changed his/her way of life, then the consequences of such mismatch concerning the growth of the soul in opposition to the old shackles of the material plan, cause events that break down those old shackles and old foundations through cataclysms.

“It is required to always have a more intensive and deeper life in Me, with Me! Fearlessness in letting go of all obstacles is required! The process of the dissolution of negative karma can be done slowly. But we can live in such a way, that the manifestation of that bad karma can be diminished in the material plan — through the right actions and Mergence with Me in Love! This applies to everyone who has spiritual aspirations and wants to achieve more than just a ‘life of righteousness’. This is — for those who follow the Straight Path!

“It all depends on the size of your vessel (Size of the developing individual consciousness.): how much you are able to contain. I am willing to offer you the whole Ocean of Me, the whole Ocean of My Love, Wisdom and Power! I am willing to give Myself — to you, and everyone… but you cannot contain the Ocean. Only the Ocean can contain Itself — you, and all that exists. And at the moment, when your vessel will become identical to My Depths and large enough in size for the preservation of your awareness in Me, then I will be able to remove this vessel, to break out the illusion of your separate existence. You will then make the experience that there is only Me, only I exist, that you are Me!

“For now, since you cannot always be in Me, try to surrender yourself to Me, and the best way to do that — is to offer selfless service to Me! This is — the best way of living, allowing one to acquire missing qualities such as: energy, self-discipline, calm, non-attachment to earthly things, broad-mindedness, ability to think quickly etc. And all actions should be done on the background of bhakti, love-devotion to God. This in return allows us to erase vices from the soul and help in the dissolution of the remaining negative karma from the past. This allows us to grow properly. Those who serve Me and forget about themselves, will be brought closer to Me. I surround them with the love and care of a Father and Mother. I stay with them always.

Total Reciprocity* should become the background state. Always feel yourself dissolved in the Ocean of Me! Being able to perceive Me fully, My Will — can only be done on the background of peace and dissolution. If you master this — you will become One with Me.

“Only love can be dissolved in Love! Only in mutual love can Peace be possible, Gentleness, Mergence of consciousnesses! Everything else — the garbage, let it emerge to the surface and be carried away by the current!

“You — are in the Ocean of Me: in the Ocean of Pure Love! Become this Ocean!

“… Contentment with oneself, over one’s own successes — prevents the subtle and pure perception of Me. It is possible to immerse into Me up to infinity, and then come back into a comfortable ‘human form’, without discomfort, or contradiction between these states. But the immobility of the ‘I’ in the absence of efforts to immerse it into the Depths of Me — over time becomes “shackles on one’s feet”.

“One, who stands still, — moves away from Me. This is like a pregnancy: it is fine, for the fetus to stand still while it grows, but when the mother is ready to give birth things should be moving — otherwise? (This is the “birth” in the Abode of the Creator: See the Gospel of Philip in [7]).

“You cannot sit on your achievements, when the level of your previous achievements forms a marshy lake with stable banks, — instead of the mighty river flowing into the Ocean of Me!

“The Mergence with Me, that does not bring one to go deeper and to expand in constant search of new opportunities to give love to Me and Me to others, — after some time ceases to be in Mergence with Me, for I do not let you stagnate.

“One, who thinks, that the Goal is now reached and that it is now possible to “rest on his laurels”, — enters into the path of degradation.

“The Mergence which does not become deeper — diminishes!

“Love that does not increase, — dims!

“The task — is to become Me in its entirety! And you will not get your way through “pleasing” Me with small things! The stage of ‘shudra’ has ended for you a long time ago! You have the option to take a new direction in life — if you do not, your present incarnation may end!

“And I do not expect at all that you will be able to take this new direction the first time you try. I never condemn those, who fall, rise and start all over again!

“Bless the difficulties, for through them we grow!”


http://swami-center.org/en/text/autobiographies/

Divine Teachers

April 13, 2016

Anna Zubkova

Disembodied Divine Teachers, Who in the aggregate are called the Holy Spirit (Brahman) — can manifest Themselves in many forms. They — are Those, Who throughout the existence of the universe, were able to merge with the Ocean of the Primordial Consciousness. Divine Souls, Who became consubstantial with the Creator, and then could manifest Themselves as Divine Teachers, Who are emanating from Him. They implement His Will in His Creation.

Some of Them are well known, and Their Teachings became the property of humanity. But there are also Those, Who were not known by many people, and because of that, the way They lived, and what They said, — did not get preserved in people’s memory.

Sometimes They reincarnate again into human bodies. They then are called Avatars, Messiahs, or Christs. They do this out of love for us: They then are able to help us better.

I would like to talk a little bit more about my own experience of communicating with Them.

* * *

I was living in this world, without knowing anything about the lives here on Earth of Sathya Sai Baba or David Copperfield. I had never even heard of them before my acquaintance with the books of Vladimir Antonov!

My acquaintance with Sathya Sai Baba started when reading Vladimir’s book Sathya Sai Baba — the Christ of our days. While I was reading this book, created with His blessing and blessed by Him afterward — in a published version — in His Indian ashram — I felt His Divine presence. It was the same when subsequently — I read His other books and books speaking about Him. With His immediate help the understanding of many different sentences were starting to unfold their real meaning to me, giving me a much deeper understanding than the one that I would normally have had.

In particular, He, helped me through directing my thoughts in the right direction while flooding me with His Love, or by explaining the drawbacks that I should eliminate right now.

And sometimes He created small miracles, by allowing, for example, to find and buy books about Him that were not reprinted for many years. Once, He put into my hands exactly two copies, one for Maria and one for me, — which were the only ones that “accidentally” were available at the seller. Or a stranger in a bookstore would suddenly give me His portrait…

I was already confidently feeling the presence of Sathya Sai in my life — and was anticipating my first meeting with Him at His place of power, as did, probably, His devoted followers who were going to India to see Him.

… Vladimir took us to one of Sathya Sai Baba’s favorite places — a place, where His Mahadouble can be easily seen and where it is especially easy to communicate with Him.

When we got there we took off our backpacks, had a little break after a long trip and then stationed ourselves next to His Mahadouble — Vladimir initially explained: Baba is approaching and is extending His Hands to us, He is touching our anahatas in us with them. After that he proposed to us to communicate with Him directly by ourselves.

I clung with all my being, with all my consciousness to the enormous Body of Consciousness of Sathya Sai and told Him, how I loved Him, how I would try to learn very, very hard… Then I ran out of words — and it became surprisingly blissful… I was completely surprised to hear His voice distinctly, addressing me — me who knew nothing and who was not able to do much yet, who was standing just at the very beginning of the Path. He said to me:

“We have — one Heart for all: the Heart of God. This is your “Highest Self”, this is what you will cognize, by becoming Him.”

I remembered those words my entire life. I lived with them, was repeating them like a mantra, like a password, that would let me be allowed into the Abode of the Creator.

And some time afterwards, while we were taking lunch, Sathya Sai Baba, Jesus, and Krishna came to bless us. When Baba approached me He stood behind me and cuddled me against Himself as a little girl. Something in me just “overflowed over the edge” … Then I saw clearly His large smiling Face bent over me.

Sathya Sai became for us since that moment one of Those Who is and will always be with us. He responded immediately. For example, He kept telling me “Do not fear anything, I am here, near you, always with you. Your Baba”. And those words “Your Baba”, were the ones that I kept hearing from the depths of my heart. They always helped me to find strength, courage, and patience and to understand what I had to do.

* * *

Our studying continued. Vladimir looked at us cleverly and said:

“Well, what should we do now? Try this!” — and he then gave us a task.

So we got acquainted with Huang Di — one of the first Avatars of the Earth, Who embodied several times in China. It was He, through Lao Tzu, Who dictated Tao Te Ching. He was “the Tenant”, Who, loving various extravagant jokes, gave secret knowledge to the group of Nagual of Juan Matus.

* * *

A forest trail. Around us — thick high spruces. Only the singing of robins and finches were braking the silence.

Vladimir introduced us to Huang Di. In particular, he told us how, once, Huang Di condensed His Body of Consciousness so that It became visible even for very beginners.

Vladimir then mentioned to us that it was possible for us to invite Huang Di into ourselves in the anahata and start chatting with Him.

… I could not see the face of Huang Di in my anahata in the beginning, so I began to imagine His image from the descriptions that Vladimir gave us — my art education allowed me to do this without any difficulty. A mongoloid type of face with broad cheekbones… Suddenly His eyes came to life and sparkled with joy, expressing a smile filled with tenderness… His face showed a real life mimicry!

I tried to speak with Him, but could not hear anything: due to the excitement I was not able to be relaxed enough to perceive the response. Then I asked Huang Di to answer by winking His eyes: I asked Him that if the answer was “yes” — to wink with his left eye, and with the right one — if the answer was “no” . And… — it worked!…

I asked Him a few questions and then, by the same “winking” system and having obtained His consent, I clutched to His neck by the hands of consciousness and asked:

“Let’s go behind the ‘Mirror’!…”

And then I got into the state of warm, dense peace of the eon of protoprakriti*.

I continued “to ride” on Huang-Di’s neck, over and over again, and asked Him “to roll” me by eons, until I could hear very clearly:

“You’re just lazy!”

But this was said so gently that I even could not get grieve. So I continued to enjoy with this amazing experience of cognition of the real God — Living, Gentle, Merry — with all His Universal Might!

However, remembering about this, I felt “uncomfortable” due to my own effrontery. How could I take “advantage of God” so easily? He was the One in my then notions, Who should only be prayed to on my knees! But what was I suppose to do?! Huang Di was here — Alive, Real! And falling on my knees before Him… — did not make any sense: He did not need this at all! And how can one even try to find the knees of the spiritual heart: if it has only the hands of love!…

* * *

Time was flying by in a strange way. On one hand, in the material world, I was living my ordinary life as usual with my work, family, and other relatives, whom by the way were all waiting: for the moment when all this “folly” would end, how long could it last?! And on the other hand I was living in a world, where only God existed. And Vladimir led us there very quickly, not giving us any breaks. Only a few months had passed by after the beginning of the classes!

… Vladimir took us to see the spring sunrise during the time of the black grouses lekking. We had been driving since the evening before, and were without tents.

… After leaving the bus, we quickly got immersed into the silence of the night forest. The starry sky, it seemed, was laying down on the Earth, a cozy blanket filled with the stars. I felt like I could touch the sky with my hands or grow my consciousness to such an extent, that I could just touch the thickness of the sky near me, which was filled with starlights. And through looking from the infinity, I was able to feel as if the little planet Earth was swimming in a soft universal expanse.

Huang Di came — and the whole infinity got filled with His presence. The coolness of the night suddenly disappeared, and everything around us got filled with warm Peace, saturated with His Love.

Happiness was filling me to the brim and was ready to splash out of me! But the Peace of Huang Di was stronger, and therefore my happiness had to burn as a tiny star in the Ocean of Universal Huang Di.

… We arrived to a place where we could spend the night. We were gathering firewood in complete darkness. When, at last, the bonfire broke out, Vladimir invited all of us to lie down comfortably and sleep for three hours before dawn, until the moment when we would go closer to the grouses.

I was not able to sleep, I was asking myself: “Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing on this Earth? Why am I here? What should I do here?” — How many times had Vladimir suggested to us not to forget about these questions! But now — it was not only necessary to ask them to ourselves, we also had to answer before God — directly, with full awareness and with full responsibility: “I am — a part of the Absolute, a tiny droplet of the Living Consciousness. I am — that which is embodied in order to grow and realize its own consubstantiality with The One, to Whom we should strive.” And now I must tell Him about my own readiness to go to Him without hesitation. For there is nothing in life more important than this Goal!

Huang Di connected to my experiences and reminded me about an idea that I had read in one of Vladimir books: God never gives to humans unbearable tasks for them; but they must not continue to live in the dreams of something more**, not making every effort, that depends on them, for reaching the Goal, — it is necessary to not only make a choice in favor of God, we also have to note everything in our own life, preventing us to go to the limit of our own possibilities daily, hourly…

… I slept a little bit while holding the hand of Huang Di.

… We got up before dawn and, after we silently collected our things, we moved to the place, where grouses would be singing. In the predawn mist there were flying woodcocks, gently flapping their wings over our heads. Then the snipes began to sing their delightful songs, rising up, and then falling down and cutting the thick morning air with their splayed tail feathers, which were making the inimitable sound of bleating.

We also listened to the grouses…

… The sun was rising higher and higher and illuminating the fields. Birds were filling the space with their voices. Each species of birds was participating in the general chorus at a specific moment in relation to the quality of the brightness of the light. Males of all species were trying their best to attract females through their songs — so as a result of their love, children would be born, and then they would learn the songs of their own species from their fathers.

Vladimir told us all about this, and taught us to distinguish the voices of the birds.

And then he depicted, through compacting his consciousness into a new form, how grouses sing: so that we could see it more closely.

… If some of you have seen the actor Lebedev, depicting a very old horse in the play “Strider”, then you know that a person can portray a horse like no horse can.

So now try to imagine a man on a small hillock among the fields, who slowly turns into a huge singing grouse. He was tilting his head and torso, spreading his wings, which were almost touching the ground, spreading, as a fan, his large feather tail made of black and blue tinted feathers — and started “to warm up”, by shaking his torso and uttering grouse’s “chufykaning” sounds that later were growing into a jubilant song…

Then Vladimir straightened up, took a human form again, and laughed — and we all laughed with him.

… After this we looked at the Sunrise on a hill inside the Mahadouble of Sathya Sai Baba, Who had emanated from the depths of the boundless Ocean of the Creator.

… After that we went swimming in the icy water of the river, wich had barely got rid of its ice, and then took a sunbath under the already summer’s sun. All the experiences, tensions and delights of the night were washed away by a new day, which we had to live for God, here and now.


* About the eons (lokas) of the multidimensional space, look in [7] and other books by Vladimir Antonov.

** Words of one of the earliest songs of Boris Grebenshchikov.


http://swami-center.org/en/text/autobiographies/

Places of Power

March 30, 2016

Anna Zubkova

“God — the Great Infinite Universal God — is Love. And in order to get closer to Him, cognize Him,
to join Him — we also have to become
very-very big love!”

(From the film “Sattva of Spring”)

Then we went to the wood to Assyris’s place of power. The things that I did not even dare to dream about, were starting to come true…

A huge sphere of Living Divine Light, which is visible by the eyes of the consciousness that developed from the spiritual heart… The Shining Sun of the Divine Love… Again — was giving an intense Bliss of Contact…

It seemed that I was burning with happiness — and I asked and prayed:

“Assyris, what are You? I want to see, hear, understand, feel you so much more fully — in all of Your Divine Omnipresence!”

Vladimir saw my troubles and approached me:

“Exit back from the anahata. And try to push off from the back of the body by the hands of consciousness. Then you will be able to swim into Assyris’s Light of Consciousness. Then you can try to merge with Him through filling His form.”

After an hour of effort and hard work, which were only replaced by a piercing feeling of blissful Merging for a few seconds, I was tired and exhausted like never before in my life.

… As we were walking to the bonfire, Vladimir asked me on our way: — So. How did it turn out? Did you like it?

I was confused as I did not know how to reply. Because I had no idea of how THIS should turn out!

He smiled, and then assured and encouraged me that it turned out okay… He then began explaining to me how a human’s consciousness gradually develops. In the beginning, most people have the consciousnesses about the size of a tennis ball and that they are often attached to some chakra. The methods of Raja Yoga allow one to learn how to move by his own consciousness through energy structures of the body and, at the same time, clean them. When energies of the body and consciousness itself have been cleaned and made subtle in a sufficient measure — then a human can begin to learn how to get out of the body, to tune, as a consciousness, to the level of subtlety of the Divine Teacher. The next steps — growing in size, volume of the consciousness; is called “crystallization” — similar to the growth of crystals in a proper environment.

… Then we had lunch and rested at a fire. After that — we were given some home-work to do: to continue the work of cleansing and development of the chakras further. In particular, we had to sing special mantras for chakras.

To show us how this should be done, Vladimir, coughed slightly, and sang all the mantras in an amazingly high pitch. They sounded gentle, subtle, the whole snow-covered wood space was filled with the sound of his voice, which did not seem to belong to his body. Vladimir, with his soft fluffy beard framing his face, wearing a quilted jacket and rubber boots, was standing in front of us, and the sounds of the mantras were filling the whole space around. His body seemed to have nothing to do with it. All the air transparency was suddenly coming to life and it was huge, composed of a flow of his soft voice…

… Those tuning sounds for chakras allowed us to tune our bodies with their energy structures — as tools which are suitable for further work to improve consciousnesses.

* * *

He left us to work independently for some time.

I was feeling and watching, being amazed and delighted of how powerfully God was coming into my life and throwing away “garbage and trash” from my everyday life.

From that moment every morning, as soon as I woke up I kept remembering Assyris. He immediately was coming to me — and was filling me with joy and hope.

When I “was forgetting about myself” in the hustle of the city life, sometimes like out of nowhere, through the haze of clouds over the wet snow, for a few seconds appeared in the sky the solar disk… — and I was igniting with joy when this made me remember about Assyris. Inside my consciousness, lines of poetry were beginning to be heard. I did not compose them, they began to manifest themselves — as some kind of rhythm, that were gradually filled with words… — words, which took me away and beyond the bounds of this world of illusions…

* * *

Every morning we were doing a set of exercises given to us and were singing mantras for the chakras, while hiding in the bathroom: in order not to wake up relatives at six in the morning. The neighbors above and below, probably, were wondering what was this suspicious hum coming from the water pipes…

And so I wanted to go — faster, further!

One time, Vladimir called us to inform us of a new class.

I informed Maria about this… But she said that unfortunately that day she was busy and could not get rid of her work…

This situation, and what happened to her next, became a life lesson for me with the meaning that we had to go to the limit of opportunities. She was despaired that God did not take her, did not let her come closer to Him… And, if not now, the opportunity could never present itself again! “The bird of freedom flies — and it never stops and does not come back!” — this is what Juan Matus taught through Castaneda’s books. Her despair was so great that I did not know what to do. I had no way to console her…

But everything was resolved very simply. God having done His test, Vladimir just postponed the time of the meeting for two hours, so Maria could come to work, and at our class.

… So, snow and rain were splashing under our feet, the sky was gray with heavy clouds…

But before us — there was a wonderful plant of power — a poplar. It differed from all the surrounding poplars by his huge cocoon of subtle and lightful energy, and was completely consonant with the energy of the developed human spiritual heart. This — warm tenderness and light, could be seen by the consciousness, despite the dampness and gloom around. We could also feel the boundary of the cocoon from the outside and the inside, through filling the cocoon by ourselves — ourselves as spiritual hearts. Or we could even go with the concentration of the consciousness below the earth’s surface — the place, where the cocoon covers the powerful roots of the poplar. The surface of the earth ceased to be perceived and we then could freely pass through the earthly firmament…

But this poplar — is not just a tree with anahata energy: it is — a consciousness, which had human incarnations in the past. And through the life of his tree body, it now develops a peace that could not have been learnt when living and loving as a human…

We could speak, and emotionally communicate with this soul … The reality of communication of consciousnesses beyond the physical world became obvious for us at that time. It was impossible to no longer understand that life is seen as a movement of material bodies only from one side. But, as we looked deeper beneath this matter we could feel its heartbeat, and so it was getting clearer to us that we — are not bodies but consciousnesses, that — there are an infinite number of other evolving consciousness around us — as alive as we are…

We were instructed to continue to work with the poplar, and we worked there every morning before we got to work and every evening, we came back to him, greeted him, hugged him with the hands of the spiritual hearts. And this big and kind soul taught us harmony, tenderness, love and peace, and helped us clean the energy structures of our bodies. It also helped us get used to being as big as him.

… I recently came back to our poplar friend and asked him: what should I write about you in the book? What would you like to say to people? He replied:

“I hardly remember what books are. But I know what it means to love, love, love!…”

… And I no longer wanted to hear any words, I just wanted to respond with my love — to his love.

After all, to love — is much more, than to speak about it!

* * *

Then Vladimir taught us to exit from the anahata through the meridian chitrini and to merge with the Holy Spirit over the earth’s surface…

During the few hours living with him we were able to master what people sometimes take more than one incarnation of hard work to do…

At that time we did not realize yet the enormous help that God was giving us in order for us to go to Him…

… In particular, I had the gift of experiencing myself through a fundamentally new state. Speaking in the terms of Juan Matus, I managed to completely “collect myself into another world”, leaving the physical body to go into the Living Light of the Holy Spirit in the third level of density of Its manifestation.

The sensation of my body completely disappeared. I was swimming by consciousness, extending the hands of my spiritual heart and aspiring to be there with all my being, where many living souls are mutually merged into One Consciousness manifested by the Light and Love of the Creator in the Creation. I stopped looking and turned back my attention to the physical world, I did not remember where my body was, when performing the meditation… Meditation — as an active job — suddenly ceased to exist for me. No more efforts were required anymore… The world of the Infinite Living Light became the only Reality… I was met there by the Embrace of Love, I was expected there, was expected for a long time

This state did not last very long, but while I was there I was not realizing time. When I “flipped” back into my body, I could not repeat it at will all by myself. I just captured this state and subsequently tried to “catch up” to it. It was the appetizer of God: He had shown and given me once again, in one other variant, the bliss of really cognizing, feeling Him. And then all depended on my efforts — to comprehend Him fully and Merge with Him in the Abode of the Creator.

to be continued


http://swami-center.org/en/text/autobiographies/

The Beginning of This Life

March 14, 2016

Anna Zubkova

“There is a certain transforming touch of God
to the soul, after which the old life of sin
and vice becomes impossible
and mentally unendurable.
This is called the moment of truth”.

Mark the Evangelist [6]

I was born in a quite “normal” atheistic family for those times in our country, however, very friendly and full of love and respect for one another.

Only one, my grandmother, believed in the existence of God. I remember her firm conviction that the church — is one thing, and Jesus Christ and His teachings — is quite another. She believed Jesus and did not believe priests.

However, I did not become a believer. I was an atheist “goody-girl”, quite appropriate for the environment.

…But the image of Jesus, thanks to my grandmother, remained in my memory…

And when I was studying in 9th grade, I read the prohibited Bible, which was given to me for a few days for the first time — the Gospel touched me very deeply.

But… my childlike reaction was: “What a pity it is what it is — a fairy tale! And how great would it be if all of this was true!… ”

I still had a lot to read and comprehend — before understanding the Existence of God.

… When it finally happened, I already was an adult and took baptism consciously.

By this time, I had no doubt that One God exists, and that religious beliefs of different people just reflect variants of how to honor him. But, since I live in Russia, — that led my way to the Orthodoxy.

* * *

God is constantly knocking at our hearts. We only need… to open the door of the spiritual heart to Him.

When this happened to me — God tried to give me the greatest gift in life: a living incarnate Master!

But I… was not ready to recognize him yet… I was quite satisfied with my own life: considered myself a believer and did not see the necessity to search for something more… And moreover: I was not aware of such a possibility…

It is said that, when the student is ready, the Teacher arrives. But, if the student is not quite ready yet, does not search for the Teacher and does not want to be a disciple at all… — then things do not happen so smoothly… God has to make a lot more efforts then…

It was as follows:

At that time I was working at a cinema studio “Lenfilm” as a costume designer. The scenario, that I was suggested at that time, was a parody on the theme of the creation of the world. When it dawned on me that I could not participate in the making of a film, which ridiculed the idea of God’s Existence, when I realized the inadmissibility of such work for me — I could not dare to declare this among the collective of atheists for some time. But then, nevertheless, I decided — and refused to participate in such a work, and honestly said aloud the reason of my refusal:

— I believe in God!

Thus, I was able to pass this little test.

And miracles started right away! The next day I was offered work on another film. And… soon Vladimir Antonov came right to the film studio’s wardrobe: an assistant of actors accidentally met him and persuaded him to star in a movie episode.

At that time I had no idea to what extent this meeting would change my life. But each word was etched in my memory, each thought of that meeting were as if fixed in an internal film in slightly slow motion.

At first, when he came in, I did not notice anything special, just a man, with clothing that was out of fashion since a long time ago, however, perfectly clean. The thoughts even came to me that: “When people come in decent places — they should dress better!” Later, I was very ashamed of this thought…

While we were walking to the sewing workshop and back, Vladimir told me, that right here, at the kiosk in the lobby of the studio, his books were sold.

And I kept thinking: “So many weird people are in this world!… And in a film studio you meet them much more often…”

Having said goodbye until filming, I continued on my way to work and passed by that kiosk with his books… But I never had “the time” for it, and did not even take them in my hands…

… The shooting days of the film started. When from seven in the morning you dress up 500 persons in costumes of the Peter the Great epoch — the attention dissipates. But nevertheless I noticed that this time he was dressed in a denim jacket and jeans. This for some reason suddenly made me very pleased, as if it was done for me… As if his warmth and tenderness embraced me, I felt Love and Peace emanating from him. This made a significant impression on me…

I continued to fuss, since I had so many things to do: correct all costumes, and check them all up… And when he came and spoke to me, I continued to hurry, unable to stand still I wanted to run somewhere, do something… He then took my hands and talked with me: he spoke very simply… And I still could not understand…

… Thus God introduced me to my future Master.

… Then I read his books again and again during the whole year… And when it was difficult, painful, or bad — I was warmed by thought, that right here, in this city, lived a man who cognized God, which I saw, and that he held my hands…

* * *

Before that meeting I never searched specifically for religious literature. Such books were coming into my life from time to time… as if by themselves. I was reading them, analyzing and building the foundation of my own worldview from what seemed to me similar to the truth. Those building blocks in my foundation where alternating with empty spaces filled with question marks. But I was not trying to find the answers to these questions by myself. I was just very happy when the answers came to me as if by themselves and filled the empty spaces.

When I read the books of Vladimir Antonov, I received a foundation already made — a durable, real, unconditional one. Everything that I developed as my own world view so far, was correlating with him, similar to a plan on paper with all its shortcomings — ready to build, possible to execute in real life, sustainable building, what I wanted to create myself!

I easily accepted everything that was written there! I found there, everything that I was lacking, and also much more than that — something that I had not started yet to think about. I was reading again and again the books one by one. The most valuable truths of all religious concepts had been collected, explained, and analyzed in them very carefully! The higher knowledge about the Creator, the meaning of our human life and the ways of realizing this meaning is given in the most accessible way. I only needed to read, realize, and absorb this knowledge.

Everything, that I have read, is so grandiose, real, and at the same time… simple! These books where not just about how and why God created everything in the universe, under what laws of His everything develops, but was also about, what follows from this: what each of us, humans embodied by God on this planet Earth, should do.

While I was analyzing myself by the schemes of psycho types described in Antonov’s books, and despite all my desire, I could not find my place near the top of those schemes. My imperfections — in all beauty and fullness — suddenly fell on me! When I understood that I had not been serious enough for real spiritual work yet, I undertook changing everything about myself that did not match the ethical standards.

to be continued


http://swami-center.org/en/text/autobiographies/


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