Anna Zubkova
Disembodied Divine Teachers, Who in the aggregate are called the Holy Spirit (Brahman) — can manifest Themselves in many forms. They — are Those, Who throughout the existence of the universe, were able to merge with the Ocean of the Primordial Consciousness. Divine Souls, Who became consubstantial with the Creator, and then could manifest Themselves as Divine Teachers, Who are emanating from Him. They implement His Will in His Creation.
Some of Them are well known, and Their Teachings became the property of humanity. But there are also Those, Who were not known by many people, and because of that, the way They lived, and what They said, — did not get preserved in people’s memory.
Sometimes They reincarnate again into human bodies. They then are called Avatars, Messiahs, or Christs. They do this out of love for us: They then are able to help us better.
I would like to talk a little bit more about my own experience of communicating with Them.
* * *
I was living in this world, without knowing anything about the lives here on Earth of Sathya Sai Baba or David Copperfield. I had never even heard of them before my acquaintance with the books of Vladimir Antonov!
My acquaintance with Sathya Sai Baba started when reading Vladimir’s book Sathya Sai Baba — the Christ of our days. While I was reading this book, created with His blessing and blessed by Him afterward — in a published version — in His Indian ashram — I felt His Divine presence. It was the same when subsequently — I read His other books and books speaking about Him. With His immediate help the understanding of many different sentences were starting to unfold their real meaning to me, giving me a much deeper understanding than the one that I would normally have had.
In particular, He, helped me through directing my thoughts in the right direction while flooding me with His Love, or by explaining the drawbacks that I should eliminate right now.
And sometimes He created small miracles, by allowing, for example, to find and buy books about Him that were not reprinted for many years. Once, He put into my hands exactly two copies, one for Maria and one for me, — which were the only ones that “accidentally” were available at the seller. Or a stranger in a bookstore would suddenly give me His portrait…
I was already confidently feeling the presence of Sathya Sai in my life — and was anticipating my first meeting with Him at His place of power, as did, probably, His devoted followers who were going to India to see Him.
… Vladimir took us to one of Sathya Sai Baba’s favorite places — a place, where His Mahadouble can be easily seen and where it is especially easy to communicate with Him.
When we got there we took off our backpacks, had a little break after a long trip and then stationed ourselves next to His Mahadouble — Vladimir initially explained: Baba is approaching and is extending His Hands to us, He is touching our anahatas in us with them. After that he proposed to us to communicate with Him directly by ourselves.
I clung with all my being, with all my consciousness to the enormous Body of Consciousness of Sathya Sai and told Him, how I loved Him, how I would try to learn very, very hard… Then I ran out of words — and it became surprisingly blissful… I was completely surprised to hear His voice distinctly, addressing me — me who knew nothing and who was not able to do much yet, who was standing just at the very beginning of the Path. He said to me:
“We have — one Heart for all: the Heart of God. This is your “Highest Self”, this is what you will cognize, by becoming Him.”
I remembered those words my entire life. I lived with them, was repeating them like a mantra, like a password, that would let me be allowed into the Abode of the Creator.
And some time afterwards, while we were taking lunch, Sathya Sai Baba, Jesus, and Krishna came to bless us. When Baba approached me He stood behind me and cuddled me against Himself as a little girl. Something in me just “overflowed over the edge” … Then I saw clearly His large smiling Face bent over me.
Sathya Sai became for us since that moment one of Those Who is and will always be with us. He responded immediately. For example, He kept telling me “Do not fear anything, I am here, near you, always with you. Your Baba”. And those words “Your Baba”, were the ones that I kept hearing from the depths of my heart. They always helped me to find strength, courage, and patience and to understand what I had to do.
* * *
Our studying continued. Vladimir looked at us cleverly and said:
“Well, what should we do now? Try this!” — and he then gave us a task.
So we got acquainted with Huang Di — one of the first Avatars of the Earth, Who embodied several times in China. It was He, through Lao Tzu, Who dictated Tao Te Ching. He was “the Tenant”, Who, loving various extravagant jokes, gave secret knowledge to the group of Nagual of Juan Matus.
* * *
A forest trail. Around us — thick high spruces. Only the singing of robins and finches were braking the silence.
Vladimir introduced us to Huang Di. In particular, he told us how, once, Huang Di condensed His Body of Consciousness so that It became visible even for very beginners.
Vladimir then mentioned to us that it was possible for us to invite Huang Di into ourselves in the anahata and start chatting with Him.
… I could not see the face of Huang Di in my anahata in the beginning, so I began to imagine His image from the descriptions that Vladimir gave us — my art education allowed me to do this without any difficulty. A mongoloid type of face with broad cheekbones… Suddenly His eyes came to life and sparkled with joy, expressing a smile filled with tenderness… His face showed a real life mimicry!
I tried to speak with Him, but could not hear anything: due to the excitement I was not able to be relaxed enough to perceive the response. Then I asked Huang Di to answer by winking His eyes: I asked Him that if the answer was “yes” — to wink with his left eye, and with the right one — if the answer was “no” . And… — it worked!…
I asked Him a few questions and then, by the same “winking” system and having obtained His consent, I clutched to His neck by the hands of consciousness and asked:
“Let’s go behind the ‘Mirror’!…”
And then I got into the state of warm, dense peace of the eon of protoprakriti*.
I continued “to ride” on Huang-Di’s neck, over and over again, and asked Him “to roll” me by eons, until I could hear very clearly:
“You’re just lazy!”
But this was said so gently that I even could not get grieve. So I continued to enjoy with this amazing experience of cognition of the real God — Living, Gentle, Merry — with all His Universal Might!
However, remembering about this, I felt “uncomfortable” due to my own effrontery. How could I take “advantage of God” so easily? He was the One in my then notions, Who should only be prayed to on my knees! But what was I suppose to do?! Huang Di was here — Alive, Real! And falling on my knees before Him… — did not make any sense: He did not need this at all! And how can one even try to find the knees of the spiritual heart: if it has only the hands of love!…
* * *
Time was flying by in a strange way. On one hand, in the material world, I was living my ordinary life as usual with my work, family, and other relatives, whom by the way were all waiting: for the moment when all this “folly” would end, how long could it last?! And on the other hand I was living in a world, where only God existed. And Vladimir led us there very quickly, not giving us any breaks. Only a few months had passed by after the beginning of the classes!
… Vladimir took us to see the spring sunrise during the time of the black grouses lekking. We had been driving since the evening before, and were without tents.
… After leaving the bus, we quickly got immersed into the silence of the night forest. The starry sky, it seemed, was laying down on the Earth, a cozy blanket filled with the stars. I felt like I could touch the sky with my hands or grow my consciousness to such an extent, that I could just touch the thickness of the sky near me, which was filled with starlights. And through looking from the infinity, I was able to feel as if the little planet Earth was swimming in a soft universal expanse.
Huang Di came — and the whole infinity got filled with His presence. The coolness of the night suddenly disappeared, and everything around us got filled with warm Peace, saturated with His Love.
Happiness was filling me to the brim and was ready to splash out of me! But the Peace of Huang Di was stronger, and therefore my happiness had to burn as a tiny star in the Ocean of Universal Huang Di.
… We arrived to a place where we could spend the night. We were gathering firewood in complete darkness. When, at last, the bonfire broke out, Vladimir invited all of us to lie down comfortably and sleep for three hours before dawn, until the moment when we would go closer to the grouses.
I was not able to sleep, I was asking myself: “Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing on this Earth? Why am I here? What should I do here?” — How many times had Vladimir suggested to us not to forget about these questions! But now — it was not only necessary to ask them to ourselves, we also had to answer before God — directly, with full awareness and with full responsibility: “I am — a part of the Absolute, a tiny droplet of the Living Consciousness. I am — that which is embodied in order to grow and realize its own consubstantiality with The One, to Whom we should strive.” And now I must tell Him about my own readiness to go to Him without hesitation. For there is nothing in life more important than this Goal!
Huang Di connected to my experiences and reminded me about an idea that I had read in one of Vladimir books: God never gives to humans unbearable tasks for them; but they must not continue to live in the dreams of something more**, not making every effort, that depends on them, for reaching the Goal, — it is necessary to not only make a choice in favor of God, we also have to note everything in our own life, preventing us to go to the limit of our own possibilities daily, hourly…
… I slept a little bit while holding the hand of Huang Di.
… We got up before dawn and, after we silently collected our things, we moved to the place, where grouses would be singing. In the predawn mist there were flying woodcocks, gently flapping their wings over our heads. Then the snipes began to sing their delightful songs, rising up, and then falling down and cutting the thick morning air with their splayed tail feathers, which were making the inimitable sound of bleating.
We also listened to the grouses…
… The sun was rising higher and higher and illuminating the fields. Birds were filling the space with their voices. Each species of birds was participating in the general chorus at a specific moment in relation to the quality of the brightness of the light. Males of all species were trying their best to attract females through their songs — so as a result of their love, children would be born, and then they would learn the songs of their own species from their fathers.
Vladimir told us all about this, and taught us to distinguish the voices of the birds.
And then he depicted, through compacting his consciousness into a new form, how grouses sing: so that we could see it more closely.
… If some of you have seen the actor Lebedev, depicting a very old horse in the play “Strider”, then you know that a person can portray a horse like no horse can.
So now try to imagine a man on a small hillock among the fields, who slowly turns into a huge singing grouse. He was tilting his head and torso, spreading his wings, which were almost touching the ground, spreading, as a fan, his large feather tail made of black and blue tinted feathers — and started “to warm up”, by shaking his torso and uttering grouse’s “chufykaning” sounds that later were growing into a jubilant song…
Then Vladimir straightened up, took a human form again, and laughed — and we all laughed with him.
… After this we looked at the Sunrise on a hill inside the Mahadouble of Sathya Sai Baba, Who had emanated from the depths of the boundless Ocean of the Creator.
… After that we went swimming in the icy water of the river, wich had barely got rid of its ice, and then took a sunbath under the already summer’s sun. All the experiences, tensions and delights of the night were washed away by a new day, which we had to live for God, here and now.
* About the eons (lokas) of the multidimensional space, look in [7] and other books by Vladimir Antonov.
** Words of one of the earliest songs of Boris Grebenshchikov.